Letter to Senior Opupulepu (221) St. Frances of Asieho and when your Enemy’s Enemy

Dear Senior Opupulepu,

How are you do? I hope you are do fine, just as I and my shordies are all do fine.

Senior, are you remember St. Francis of Assisi? That akupa who was outdoor by his father with the name Giovanni, but after he was born again, he decided to be called and became known as St. Francis of Assisi.

Senior, St. Francis was a dadaba who lived in wealth and riches but when he saw the light, he decided take care of the downtrodden and nature, making paddies with all animals, including rats, grasscutters, lizards, frogs and mosquitoes who he fed breakfast, lunch and supper every day.

Senior, fast forward from ancient times to the year when Togbui Xornametor gate-crashed into our royal palace vowing that he came for the poor, to make them also rich some, by using the principle of enriching the poor by impoverishing the rich.

Senior, Togbui Xornametor aka Togbui Peace-Perfect-Peace aka Togbui My Daughter’s Breasts Are Something aka Togbui Amekadziavu, founded a clan which is known as the Umbrella Clan. A clan where they defend falsehood and swear that they are for the poor only to enrich themselves and leave the poor poorer than they ever were.

Senior, in this clan, people can talk loosely and by-heart. Gone were the days when Togbui Xornametor can talk carelessly and all Umbrella clansmen will praise him saying he is booming.

Senior, there was a certain woman, not too short and with heavy backside and she could talk by heart and boom more than Togbui Xornametor.

Senior, she was born, outdoor and baptised Francis, sorry Frances. And anything she said or did always brings asem, that will make what Kweku Frimpong brings, look like nursery rhyme compared to university thesis. Because of her character and standards, she was named Frances Asem.

Senior, something happened one day. Togbui had observed that Frances Assem was overtaking him when it came to booming. And since Togbuihated to be outperformed in anything, he decided to silence her once and for all.

Senior, Togbui placed padlocks on Frances Asem’s mouth and ordered three bow and arrow professionals to stand guard to make sure that her mouth did not move.

Senior, when talking-famine hit Frances Asem, she decided to move to the clan where talking is a greener pasture.

Senior, she took this cue from the Holy Book when Yacob moved with his family and household from his famine-stricken home country to the land of the Pharoah, where there were lots of atadwe milk and honey, akrantie meat-pie and Keta schoolboy pie and plenty boiled cassava with green sauce, with lots of palm wine to drink and get drunk.

Senior, Francis Assem’s destination was of course the land of Asiehor, where the Elephant clan were indigenes.

Senior, Francis Assem continued firing like nobody’s business and with Togbui no longer around to caution her, she fired and boomed and fired and boomed.

Senior, she became born again, again and when she was baptised by a Roman Katholici Osofo, she adopted St Francis of Assisi as her patron saint and became known as St Frances of Asieho.

Senior, the aged and the ancient use to say that “your enemy’s enemy should not necessarily be your friend.” Unfortunately, the Elephant clan overlooked this and welcomed St Frances into their midst because she was an enemy of Togbui, their enemy.

Senior, it is also said that “when you teach a child how to insult adults, when he or she has no adult to insult, he will insult you.” Lo and behold, soon there was no one in the Umbrella clan to insult especially with Togbui Xornametor gone for good to his ancestors.

Senior, since no keteke and catch at once-break, at once, St Francis of Asieho could also not clip her mouth at once. She turned on the top hierarchy of the Elephant clan, hoping against hope that they would accept things and understand her.

Senior, she first verbally attacked the Napoleon Bonaparte of the Elephant clan firing verbal shots at him. She said things like Wofa Napoleon does not bath his armpits and the toxic gases that come from there can be used to generate electricity energy for the whole Ogyakrom.

Senior, when it seemed to her that people have not noticed her, she directed her missiles at the Great Leopard himself. Yes, I mean our Omanhene Nana Nsurowuo Owuobia ye owu. St Frances of Asiehor said things like Nana does not wash his hands before eating and that he even uses both his left and right hands when eating. She went on to add some things which I decided to forget, by force.

Senior, again when people seemed unconcerned, St Frances of Asiehor, served noticed that she would go to the Village Square and tell the whole of Ogyakrom, the bad things that our Omanhene and our Bonaparte do whenever dumsor visited the land.

Senior, when people gathered at the Village Square waiting for what St. Frances of Asiehor was going to say, she came out to plead guilty adding that she had been diagnosed with loose tongue and running mouth and all she said about our Omanhene and our Napoleon Bonaparte were rumours.

Senior, hmmm, your enemy’s enemy? As for me I am Dan, sorry I am done.

It’s me.


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