At 93, Mrs. Cecilia King, a retired midwife, has not slowed down. For decades, she has opened her door to couples struggling to conceive. No fees. No appointments. Just conversation and guidance born from years in healthcare.
“It breaks my heart when I hear of couples trying and not succeeding,” she said. “Even now, they come to me. I never charge them. It is my duty to humanity.”
Her first advice is always the same. “It is imperative that couples who are trying to conceive know that when they go to the hospital, they must be honest with the medical team,” Mrs. King said.
She spent years as a midwife and educator. In that time she saw the same pattern repeat. “Sometimes we know the person is not telling the truth, but we can’t force them. Doctors can only help if patients tell them the truth. Without that, we are only guessing.”
The other problem, she said, is stigma. “In many Ghanaian homes the woman is blamed first, even when tests show otherwise. The silence, the shame, it only makes the pain worse.”
Her solution has always been the same: go together. “I always ask couples to come in together. Through honest conversations, we found out the truth,” she said.
“I wonder why some men do not want to go with their wives. Men can also be the cause. If you truly love your wife, you should be the first to suggest we go for help.”
The retired midwife says many men wait too long because they assume fertility is a woman’s issue. “In my years of practice, I saw men come in very late,” she said.
From her experience, some of the issues included low sperm count, poor movement, untreated infections, and hormone problems. “And sometimes it is lifestyle. Too much alcohol, smoking, stress. All of that matters,” she noted.
She also mentioned illnesses and injuries. “Some men had problems after mumps, or after infections they didn’t treat. Others were born with issues but never checked until marriage.”
She flagged one more thing. “Some men already have children from a previous relationship, so they feel they can’t be the problem. But things change. Having a child before does not mean you cannot have a challenge now.”
“Testing is for both of you. When you go together, you find out early and you save time. Hiding only wastes it,” she advised.
She believes anyone who stands with a couple during this journey is giving them something valuable. “Whether you are medical or not, if you help someone in this journey, you have given them the most precious gift.”
Her advice is straightforward. First, tell your doctor everything. Half-truths lead to wrong treatment and wasted money.
Second, look at your lifestyle. “Research healthy foods and make changes. Stress, poor food, no rest — all of these affect your health and your chances,” she said.
Third, think about adoption early. “Parenthood is not only biology. There is a child out there without parents. Why not help that child? That could be God’s way of giving you your own. The earlier you decide, the better. You’ll have the strength and the means to care for them. A child needs love, stability, and time.”
Compassion Over Judgment
What worries her most is how many couples suffer quietly. “Compassion must go beyond duty. As a society, let us support couples, not judge them. Childlessness is a medical condition, not a curse.”
Her final words were firm. “Go to the hospital together. Tell the truth. Take care of your health. And keep your heart open to every path to becoming a parent.”
At 93, Mrs. King is still doing what she has always done. Listening. Counseling. Reminding people they are not alone.
By Dzifa Tetteh Tay
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