Dear Senior Opupulepu,
How are you do? I hope you are do fine. As for us, we are do fine.
Senior, the Feast of the Eastern Star, has come and gone. This was a festival to commemorate the day, Yahweh’s Only Son, Yesu Christus Emmanuel, beat up Wofa Sasabomsam and his special aide, Owuo, while He had all legs and hands tied together.
Senior, it happened that Wofa Sasabomsam was all over the place bragging and boasting about his strength and power and that even Yahweh cannot do him fooko.
Senior, accompanied by his special aide, Owuo, he started transforming homo-sapiens into ghosts like nobody’s business.
Senior, Wofa Sasabomsam was told by his village chief fetish priest and prophets that nobody born of man and woman can defeat him.
Senior, they say, small boys are young and so was it when to halt Wofa Sasabomsam’s stupidity, Yahweh sent His Only Pikin to go undercover and investigate all Wofa Sasabosam was doing.
Senior, this very Rich Man Pikin chose to go undercover well, well and so he lodged in the slums in the care of a very poor mother and her very poor husband, Eno Mariama and Agya José who had no relationship with José Mourinho of Chelsea’s fame.
Senior, because common food was hard to come by, Agya José imposed child labour on this Pickin, who was baptised Yesu Christus Emmanuel, and made him a carpenter boy by force.
Senior, the Boy Yesu Christus Emmanuel soon grew to be a man. And He started doing miracles, the most refined form of magic. Yet, Wofa Sasabomsam did not see through that this Man was special and he had to tread cautiously or else… hmmm.
Senior, it was not too long when Wofa Sasabomsam made the most stupid and worse mistake in his life. He ordered his special aide Owuo, to transform a certain Lazarus into a ghost. He did it on purpose, because whenever Yesu Christus Emmanuel was hungry, He would pass by Lazarus’ house and his sisters, namely What-Can-The-Matter-Be and Merry-Mary, would serve him with any food of His choice, including kokoo and kose, konkonte and groundnut soup.
Senior, in order to make Yesu Christus Emmanuel starve to death, Wofa Sasabomsam made Lazarus take the lead into asaman-do, the Land of the Dead.
Senior, lo and behold, when Yesu Christus Emmanuel heard this, He cried out in anger and went forth to the gate of the Land of the Dead and politely asked Lazarus to come out. Even though, He never addressed the locked gate, it quickly opened and Owuo himself, to play safe, sacked Lazarus from his premises.
Senior, Yesu Christus Emmanuel decided it was time to take the fight to Wofa Sasabosam and so they fought. At one point, Yesu was down and out and Wofa Sasabomsam ordered Owuo to lock Him up in the Land of the Dead. That was their most stupid mistake ever. Just like a Kpakpo Shito guy in a fight who will say, kenteshi le ma shibo, to wit, when I get up I will beat you, but cannot do fooko, Wofa Sasabomsamthought Yesu Christus Emmanuel was like any Kpakpo Shito guy.
Senior, not knowing, Yesu Christus Emmanuel had a game plan. He allowed Himself to be taken into the kingdom of Wofa Sasabomsam and for three days, He wreaked havoc there destroying everything. Scared, Wofa Sasabomsam and his cabinet ministers fled into exile.
Senior, on the third day, Yesu Christus Emmanuel came back alive looking more fresh than He had ever been. To commemorate this beautiful event, we were assembled in Church on the eve of the Resurrection and told stories about our Salvation History from the Holy Book.
Senior, one that sweet me well, well was the creation of ewiase. Yahweh said on the first day that Let there be Light, Day One or Sunday first went for Osono light which Yahweh rejected, until it brought Sunlight, not the soap, and Yahweh accepted. This took almost the whole day but Yahweh blessed Sunday.
Senior, second day came and Yahweh said Let There Be Sky, and again like Day One, Day Two orMonday,went for skyscrapers which were rejected until evening, it came with Sky and Yahweh blessed Monday.
Senior, on Day Three, Yahweh said Let There Be Dry Land and Wet Sea, very intelligent Day Three or Tuesday, produced Dry Land and Wet Sea immediately and Yahweh blessed that day. But it was still morning, so Yahweh said again to Tuesday, Let there be Cassava, and all plants, and before Yahweh could finish talking, Tuesday produced them. Yahweh was very impressed and blessed Tuesday again.
Senior, it looks like Tuesday is the most obedient and blessed day. Yahweh could have done more Let There Be’s, but He relaxed for Day Four and through to Day Six, each first, became confused and presented the wrong things, until a second try. On Day Seven, because Yahweh used two Let ThereBe’s, on Tuesday, He had nothing more to Let There Be’s, so He just relaxed in His Lazy Chair and watched Akan drama on television.
Senior, ewiase would not have been ewiase had there not been, Evening Came, Morning Followed, the Tuesday.
Senior, I am Kwabena, sorry I am Dan, sorry again, I am done.
It’s me!
