Letter to Senior Opupulepu (204) Tweaaa! After all You no Look Fine! -The Umbrellas

Dear Senior Opupulepu,

How are you do? As for and my mine, we are all do fine, fine, thank you.

Senior, I believe you encountered this situation when you were young in your teens, either by experience or by observation.

Senior, those were the days, and it is still in existence, sons of Adam aka akupas, come out like angels of Yahweh, andgo chasing daughters of Eve.

Senior, a typical akupa will describe the baby as the most beautiful on earth by saying, “It was only after you were born, that beauty came into this world. I really want to be always by your side, I need nothing. Hmmm, life without you, will be like Chinese film without karate, like sunshine without keysoap, sorry sunlight”

Senior, this approach would go on and on and on, with the akupa patiently waiting for a Yes answer. In fact, he would go fasting and prayers if this daughter of Eve, tells him, she will think about his proposal.

Senior, here lies the danger. For the daughter of Eve is not going into her room and meditate over the issue, but rather go to meet a female caucus where they will debate the proposal and then put it into vote.

Senior, if this akupa who is suffering in the land, has enemies in the House, then sorry. “Aaaah, Sister, Sister, look a beauty like you, Oba papa bi. You are going for this guy man?

Are you aware that at this his age, he still bed-wets?” “Esi Atta, look at the house you come from, before you make a choice. Someone, whose guy name sef, is not fine. Azaambuja! If you want to be called Mrs. Azambuja then go ahead.”

“Aaooo, my Sister, so you do not know he is a petty, thief-man. In fact, he has started learning how to be a robber, by thiefing, meat and fish that his sisters are using to prepare meals. His former girlfriend, Naa Lameley Akpanye, saw him thiefing ladies under something and bodies on a drying line.

He then, ironed them and wrapped them fine, fine and presented them to her as a gift from the bottom of his heart. If Naa, had not seen him in action, she would have accepted the stolen goods with joy and deep appreciation. If you like, ask him what happened between him and Naa.”

Senior, once the conversation takes this course, then that will be the end of matters arising and it will be a simple situation of “I regret to decline”.

Senior, with this shocking “No” for an answer, scales like fish scales will remove from his eyes and in his confused, clouded and disappointed mind he will see the lady as he thinks, under the circumstances. There will be the need to even the scores, as in“ati-ka, ati-ka, one-one draw.”

Senior, the disappointed son of Adam will go like this, “If you think I love you, I do not. Look at someone like single one that has been sand papered (if the baby is slim and sweet, like a Ghana Most Beautiful)” “You think you are beautiful, I am only doing you a favour, you who look like a baby whale. (If the baby is well endowed, the back, the front, the everywhere) Which of the guys here do you think, will look at you twice?”“My dear lady, but why am I even calling you, lady? My mother wants house-help and you fit in that category. Ah, tweaaa, after all, you no look fine.”

Senior, it is this, “tweaaa, after all, you no look fine,” that has entered into the Umbrella department at the Municipal Police kiosk.

Senior, when, Nana Onsurowuo was begged to come and chop Omanhene again for the second time by the kingmakers of Ogyakrom, he submitted his list of servants he would like to work with, if the House pleases.

Senior, the names included names which to the Umbrella Clan people, so far as community work is concern, they should have been extinct.

Senior, but lo and behold, the Umbrella Municipal Police people, made their heads like lizard head and kept nodding like that at anyone brought in front of them.

Senior, this annoyed some small baby with chainsaw teeth, in the Umbrella clan, call Samsam Jeffrey, who described his own in the Municipal Police kiosks, like people who get up from bed, spray armpit, powder faces and grease skins before stepping into the bathroom to bath with water, sponge and don’t-touch-me soap.

Senior, it became butu-butu in the Umbrella clan. And suddenly, everything went quite and calm and order was restored.

Senior, not knowing, all the Umbrella Municipal Police who nodded their heads like lizards relaxing in the sun doing nothing, had approached our Omanhene’s servants and begged that they should give them hand-downs when they enter their father’s kingdom.

Senior, unfortunately, these servants are not minding them and suddenly we only hear the Umbrella Municipal Police officers, shouting on top of their voices at Omanhene’s servants that, “tweaaa, after all, you people no look fine.”

Senior, I am Dan, sorry I am done. If I continue and one day I have to appear before these lizard-like nodding heads of the Umbrella people, all I have said will be taken against me.

It’s me!


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