Opinion

PERISCOPE: LOVE, MARRIAGE, DIVORCE (PART 2)

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Godfried K. Arhen-Kumi

God had good intention, when He implanted the phenomenon of Love inman and woman. Why not? He had created Adam and Eve and wanted them to fill the world with people.  That Love He created has a magnetic charm to draw them together in order to be able to respond positively to His

wish.Like God himself, who is jealous and does not want us to worship other gods apart from Him. (Exodus 20:4-5), Love, too, is jealous and does not want any type of disturbances. Love has, however, been tainted with unfaithfulness, lies, insincerity, etc, to the extent that it has almost lost its glamour and luster.

Passing infatuation is mistaken for true love and initial courtship is over burdened with false promises of Heaven on Earth by some men dying for feminine attention. Thus, any marriage resulting from mouth watering promises end up becoming like the proverbial “kookooahahan”-the leaf of cocoa tree. Initially, while growing, the leaves bloom,but wither with time. Divorce then becomes imminent.

Stumbling Blocks

There are some stumbling blocks to a successful marriage, which couples should try to resist. They include temptations. Sometime ago,for instance, a news report indicated that a man who from all

indications, had faithfully stayed with his wife, got sick. When he attended hospital, he was diagnosed with the terrible HIV. He was really mad with genuine surprise, since he knew he had stayed with only his wife throughout their matrimonial life.

The doctor asked him to present his wife for testing. He did and the wedded wife was tested positive, thus, indicating that the husband got the sickness from madam. When the doctor pressed her for confession,she broke down and said her former classmate, who was then domiciled abroad, visited Ghana and invited her for an outing at the time her husband was on night duty at his place of work.

Barren Marriage

In a marriage in which there is no child, the woman may be tempted to go to another man, just for fun, which she may not know if the fault comes from her. The Husband may also be tempted to take advantage of the problem, even though, the cause may be his. In such a situation,the couple should not be discouraged, they should find treatment to save their marriage.

Talking about barrenness brings to the fore the problem of impotence.Some people wonder why the problem cannot be detected, during courtship, for treatment. Since the ultimate aim of marriage is the

production of children, firstly, to “fill and replenish the earth” and secondly, for parents to benefit from the children as supporting rods,during the former’s old age, men’s virility is hugely essential.

Should the problem of impotence be ignored, there is not the least chance of survival of the marriage, no matter how deeply the couple loves each other.

In some situations in which the couple find it difficult to part, they may agree, painfully to take the path of unfaithfulness involving the wife and another man. This is, however, offensive to God and the

teachings of Jesus on adultery. Separation should, therefore, be considered as an indispensable option.

Lack of patience, Forgiveness

Patience and forgiveness play a significant role in the success of a marriage. When these two sisters are absent in marriage, peaceful co-existence suffers. Take for instance the following situation: A

husband returns from work with great expectation to find his  meal ready on the dining table, but staring at him and mocking him is an empty dining table.

He yells at madam: “Why is the food not ready? So you have used the whole day idling about and not caring what will happen to me. You area lazy yawning drone. If you repeat this, I gonna send you away toyour equally lazy mother, who pampered you so well that you cannot see

what is right to do. “Ebe ye dwe ne!”

Madam looks him up and down in a menacing manner and coughs out some offensive words, “What do you think of yourself at all? If you are a caring partner,  you would have asked me why your food is not ready.

This is not characteristic of me. As soon as you left for work, I was attacked by fever. I rushed to the Clinic near here for attention. I slept when I returned and just woke up. I was about to get something

for you when you came with reprehensible insult, foodian!”If only the husband had exercised restraint and found out why food was not ready at the expected time, madam would not have been cheeky,

for “A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger (Proverbs 15:1).

“My dear, something might have happened in my absence, which prevented you from getting the meals ready on time. Please tell me: I do care and don’t worry about it.” Such endearing words with, even a hug would have been magical in preventing explosive reactions.

Training Children/Frequent visits from Family Members

Sometimes, when the husband wants to bring the children to order, when they misbehave, Madam may protest.  This does not nourish peaceful co-existence  in the home, when  viewed against the biblical injunction to parents “to train a child the way he should go, so  that he will not depart from it when he grows up” (Proverbs 22:6).

Frequent visits from family members of both the husband and the wife may sometimes bring distressing feelings especially when they stay fora long time. Both should humbly discourage this, by discussing their worries with them, especially their mothers-in-law.Love and Marriage, are, indeed jealous, and lovers must be cautious in choosing partners, and the more cautious, when they finally settle down in marriage.

By Godfried K. Arhen-Kumi

The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect The Chronicle’s stance.

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