Letter to Senior Opupulepu (230)

Now, a Mosquitolically Infested Umbrella Clan 

Dear Senior Opupulepu,

How are you do? I hope you and all your accendants and descendants are do fine, just as me and mine are all do fine.

Senior, the aged, I mean Methuselah’s aged mates, have a saying that says, “If you bring a maggot infested rat to your home, expect plenty flies to come and take residence permits.”

Senior, what can the matter be? The Umbrella clan again. They are always in the news for all the not-too-good, the bad and the ugly reasons.

Senior, any wise headman of a community will give aliens, a place to reside and that will be in the areas where they cannot do expansion. If not before anyone can say, “Asembebadebi,” the whole locality will be taken over by the aliens who will grow to take over the province.

Senior, when the ascendents, sorry ancestors, of Yesu Christus Emmanuel, the Juice People, entered inside Egypt inside, before the indigenes villagers could say, “Agbelikaklo,” all of Egypt was filled with the Juice People.

Senior, the reason was that the Egypt villagers thought that, they could contain the Juice People as long as they resided far, far away from them. And so, since every vacuum must be filled, the Juice People filled all available places and would every night, joyfully sit by the River Nile and sing the Lord’s songs of praises in a Strange Land.

Senior, if the Egypt People had four-sights, they would have shared the Juice People evenly among the Egypt People. There, there will certainly be cross pollination or cross breeding and soon and very soon, one cannot pick out, who is a pure bred this or a pure bred that.

Senior, but because they had hind-sights they did what they thought was best and later suffered for this. The Juice People decided to go and cross the River Volta lookalike on foot. But when the Egyptians decided to try and walk like that some, they were turned into Chorkor Rascals and were swallowed by larger fishes like tuna corned-flakes.

Senior, recently the Umbrella Clan decided to cast lots to choose elders who will oversee the clan’s day to day affair.

Senior, among those who wanted to be abusuapanin, was a certain mosquito. This mosquito was special. He was a warlord among the mosquito race and held the rank of general. This special General Mosquito has not got a single army uniform, so he was and is, a general without a uniform.

Senior, this general is known in lance corporal life, sorry in private life as c. And he looks like a mosquito, walks like a mosquito, eats like a mosquito, drinks like a mosquito, talks like a mosquito and sings like a mosquito, but make no mistake, he is a Mosquito.

Senior, the Umbrella clan people had a choice between a full-grown mosquito and a human he-goat called Foss (Obroni Wawu) Amplify. It is like the Umbrellas have never been bitten by a mosquito before, so they looked down upon the Son-of-Man and cast lots for the Mosquito.

Senior, now there is a problem. When General Mosquito took seat and started oversight ill-responsibilities over the Umbrellas, he would steal into the dark night and open windows and allowed mosquitoes in.

Senior, soon and very soon, the Umbrella clan was dominated by mosquitoes but the indigene Umbrellas were never aware, because these mosquitoes hid in the day and go out for fresh air after midnight.

Senior, the time came for the Umbrella people to cast lots for clansmen and clanswomen who would lead the clan to war against the Elephants.

Senior, when the list of the above-age was compiled, lo and behold, about two-thirds of the legible people happened to be mosquitoes and none of them had even dual citizenship to be considered to be Ogyakromians, to be able to vote.

Senior, what more than pained the true Umbrellas, was that these mosquitoes dislodged true indigenous Umbrellas from their voters register.

Senior, as I write, the Umbrella people remembered their battle cry and are singing it, “Umbrella people make we stand up, make we fight for our right; We no go sit down make dem cheat we… dabida!”

Senior, they say whenever problem encounters Obroni Long Nose, he will talk Twi. So, lo and behold, the Umbrella people who hate all the old men and old women of the land who sleep lazily on benches and always swear never to look at their direction let alone to look them in their aged faces and worse of all to even greet them “good morning, good afternoon, good evening,” took an emergency decision to set aside that hate-ritual and went to knock agoo.

Senior, the shocked old men and old women who always sleep lazily on benches, managed to asked the Umbrella people their road-top and ask their denomination, sorry mission.

Senior, after the Umbrella people had spoken their speech, the old men and old women who did not want any further disturbance of their siesta, took a decision and decided to postpone the Umbrella lot-casting until further notice when all displaced Umbrellas have been reinstated and all mosquitoes, mosquito-sprayed away.

Senior, I can see a mosquito dancing towards me. Let me get some spray, so I am Dan, sorry I am Done.

Its, Me.


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