Letter to Senior Opupulepu (215) “Dem Dey Say We No Get Sense!”


Dear Senior Opupulepu,

How are you do? I am hope you are do fine, just as me and my shordies are all do fine.

Senior, like a week or so ago, I was watching some programme on television, where the Roman Katholiki chief priest of Cape Shore, was been celebrated for squatting on the seat, more than half the distance Ohenma Lizzy squatted on the throne.

Senior, this chief priest did not become a chief priest by mistake. His family was anointed to bring forth a chief priest from inside their family, inside. His family is a family of good natured Ogyakromians.

Senior, first they can dress well, well and when they put on belt, they buckle it perfectly as if it was their family that brought wearing of belt into ewiase. Also, when they buckle their shoes, nothing can un-buckle them. They are the greatest and the best, when it comes to dressing.

Senior, this family are more Roman Katholiki than Pope St. John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI both, well mixed together. They always openly exhibit such qualities when it comes to Hosanna Sunday. Their women can sow wrapper out of palm leaves and tie round their waist and the men will sow palm branch jackets and wear. Then while brandishing palm branches and trees along the principal foot-paths of Ogyakrom’s capital hamlet, one can hear their beautiful voices singing praises to the Son of David.

Senior, in the case of our Roman Katholiki chief priest of Cape Shore, he used to be the grey sheep in the family. Not the black sheep, because he never chopped bad before, just that he was always always doing things an above-average course-trouble boy will do, instead of learning the Latin lyrics of Holy Mass.

Senior, his pastime was not to play gutter-to-gutter because he will dirty himself; it was not to go plucking coconut from people’s coconut trees because it was against “Thou shall, not steal” andit was not chasing bailaa(mice found residing in fields), because he believed that all animals are also created by God and so they are our siblings, some.

Senior, his pastime and vocation was to play chass-kele and he was such an expert and in fact a GOAT, Greatest Of All Times, when it came to this sport. In the neighbourhood, he was called Chassey. So, his father who wanted an appropriate Christo name for him, decided the Spiritus Sanctohas come out with a name and so named him Chassey.

Senior, many years after he ascended on the seat as a Katholiki chief priest, he also revealed that he was born to be a member of all religions. He could dress like a Ganja man and also sing like one. His favourite song was that Song of Freedom.

Senior, I was told from my sources at the Pope’s palace, that they wanted to transfer him permanently to the Rasta religion, but he defended himself by saying that, that song sung talked about what was done to the prophets as written in the Holy Book. And since he was truly one of the prophets, if they like they should banish him, like they will see something coming upon them from Yahweh’s Kingdom.

Senior, none of the elders had courage to cast the first stone, so they left one by one starting from the youngest.

Senior, the life and status of this chief priest, who can carry and wave palm branches more than any other chief priest, who can buckle his belt and shoes more than even the Long Noses can and who was named after a very popular and famous game, chass-kele, was sanctified the more.

Senior, during the festivities and jubilations of his long squatting period on the seat, I saw our Omanhene, Nana Onsurowuo Owuobia ye Owuo, the Great Leopard, in the midst. And when he was asked to talk some, he started with his signature tune, “Fellow Garians.” I thought he was going to share goodies here, too, but he swerved me. He only needed my attention, which I thought was not fair.

Senior, how could he joke with my how-far at this day and age.

Senior, a certain priest also came to tell us some tooli, about this chief priest who was celebrating the long distance he spent on the seat. He said something which confused my mind. He said the chief priest had a great sense of humour, meaning he had sense, or?

Senior, this reminded of an incident which could have developed intoa planned accident, which took place in the Ogyakrom Tertiary School during the time that Togbui Xornametor, squatted on the stool, by force.

Senior, it was during sports and games when one school girl said something which only the school kids laughed but the bow and arrow professionals did not.

Senior, another girl then said: “They do not have any sense of humour!”

Senior, hell almost broke loose. All the bow and arrow professionals got very angry and started raging, “You say we do not have sense? You say we do not have any sense.”

Senior, only Yahweh, saved the school kids and maintained peace perfect peace on that campus. Even telling you this is making me fear, fear; afraid, afraid.

Senior, I am Dan, sorry I am done.

It’s me!


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