Dear Senior Opupulepu,
How are you do? As for me and my small, small cowries, we are all do fine, thank you.
Senior, in this Ogyakrom that we live in it, we of the younger generation, do not know any wisdom and we would not learn native sense from the aged.
Senior, the other day our Great Leopard, the only Omanhene, who could arrest all the kobolor boys and girls and put them inside classroom by fire by force and also teach them how to eat meals with fork and knife all for free, speaked, sorry spoke, and some Ogyakromians took offense.
Senior, this our Omanhene, Nana Onsurowuo Owuobiayeowuo, the short Great Leopard, who can conquer giants and prove to the whole of ewiase that giants are small, because in every giant there is an ant, we know always speaks words of wisdom.
Senior, but please do not mention anywhere that I say he is short. Or I will swear that I do not know you.
Senior, you remember when Kofi Nanti visited our village without visa, the Great Leopard, used to come to address us by saying “Fellow Gari-ans,” meaning we like chopping gari. Whenever he appears in our home by using special powers, we become happy.
Senior, some half moon or so ago, the Great Leopard came again and addressed us starting with those sweet salutations of “Fellow Gari-ans.” Many were those who thought he was about to distribute gari and so lined up in their room watching and waiting for the distribution to take place.
Senior, the gari did not manifest in their plates and bowls and pots and pans. Then they heard our Omanhene saying, Sika Mp3Dede
Senior, they thought that Nana was going to miraculously put cowries notes in their pockets, since notes do not make noise or he was going to credit their MoMo accounts without allowing E-Levy to be charged when they MoMo their creditors and girlfriends.
Some, credited yor-ke-gari, and here I am not mentioning anybody, past, present or future. So, mind what you say.
Senior, mankind waited and waited and continuing waiting long after Omanhene had left and still, no notification on their phones, only Quickloan reminding them that they have loans to repay. And their empty pockets were still empty, only filled with common air.
Senior, there and then, people of Ogyakrom, for the first time in the history of this village started insult, insulting a sitting omanhene. If “Sika Mp3Dede,” then “Ohia P3Dede.”
And a certain Martin, an I-Put-It-To-Youpractitioner, mounted the wall at the village square and shouted “Chooo Boiii” and spoke and said to the people that they should follow him to march to the palace and tell our Omanhene something.
Senior, many assured him that they will join him and when he counted the positive responses of RSVP, in short Rice-And-Stew-Very-Plenty, he had over twenty million villagers promising to join him.
Senior, Martin then put it to cooks to cook and make sure everybody got refreshed and strengthened to march to and fro to the Omanhene’s palace to tell him something.
Senior, on that day, if it had rained, it would have been better. The total number of villagers who turned up could not fill the back of five aboboyas.
The day was Saturday, and Martin was so unwise not to know that Saturdays are markets days for most people and funeral days for others.
As we speak, the cooks are demanding he should come and collect the meals they had prepared and he had paid for. They need their pots and pans to cook other meals and sell.
Senior, but I completely differ from Ogyakromians who think our Omanhene was wrong in saying “Sika Mp3Dede.”
Senior, when you are in chapel and it is offertory time and people start putting their widow’s and widower’s mite into the collection bowl, which of the cowries make noise?
Senior, is it not the coins who count for nothing and are always rejected in the market that make noise?
Have you heard a five, ten, twenty, fifty, hundred or two hundred cowry note ever making noise in the collection bowl?
They do not because they are the true money and money does not make noise. Yes, it is true what our Omanhene said “Sika Mp3Dede.”
Senior, look at a rich man who buys imported akpeteshie like whiskey that costs at least eight hundred cowries a bottle.
He would drink four tots but stay calm and very sober with no one knowing he has drunk anything, because “Sika Mp3 Dede.” Senior, but immediately a poor Ogyakromian drinks just two tots of ogyateshie, which sells at less than three cowries a bottle, come and see dede.
He will sing discord in a cacophonic tune to scare every living thing away and even go on and speak complete rubbish in such a loud voice about how if given the nod and made omanhene he would correct things in society.
Senior, and who makes most noise at funerals? Is it not the poor broke men and women? Upon the noise, they give coins as donation, but the calm rich people give notes. So, what Omanhene said is true, “Sika Mp3 Dede,” as for Ohia… I rest my case.
Senior, I am Dan, sorry I am Done.
It’s me!
