Letter to Senior Opupulepu (198)

Born the Playmate of Angels, Oh Come Let Us Adore Him

 Dear Senior Opupulepu,

How are you do? As for me and my shordies, we are all do fine.

Senior, revelations are now being revealed here in Ogyakrom that we could possibly meet angels from Yahweh’s Kingdom who will be playing chass-kele, or gutter-to-gutter with us, or even drinking brukutu with us and we may never know.

Senior, this is a serious matter, I am revealing from a revelation to you. We need to guide and guard our steps if due to our sins Yahweh refuses to do us that favour.

Senior, you remember that quotation from the Holy Book, in a letter to the He-that-Brews, not brukutu, I beg I do not want trouble. Here I am referring to paragraph 3, line 2, where we are told to always remember to welcome strange strangers into our midst, because they could be angels, for all we know.

Senior, you also know that in this ewiase that we live in it, anyone who is paddies with a powerful person, must be treated with respect and decorum, so that if one is lucky, that person would speak something good about that person to that powerful person for favours to flow.

Senior, sometimes there could be a person who lacks respect in the community. He may be useless, s-u-t-uu-pid, and regarded lowly among men.

Senior, if one day some powerful and rich lord comes into the community and starts chatting with this outcast and share table with him, eating, drinking and laughing, the whole hamlet will start respecting him after the great man leaves for his abode.

Senior, this rejected gravel, would become Akotex, sorry, Cornerstone in the community, and he will be always invited to the meetings of the Council of Elders.

Senior, you remember that Okomfo-Nyame-Nipa, called Kowus Bumper? He was the one who every 31st Night, entertains us with tolis claiming that Yahweh has told him to tell us things that Yahweh Himself do not remember saying.

Senior, one such night, he told us that Yahweh told him to tell the Senior Chief Mallamof Ogyakrom that his days had been counted and numbered one by one.Senior, instead going quietly and nicodemusly to this Senior Chief Mallam, and tell what Yahweh had said to him,Kowus Bumper, went straight to the village square during rush hour and announced to all and sundry and sundry and all, that Yahweh said if the Senior Chief Mallam had not made a will, he should do one immediately because he would not see coming four markets to tell his great grandchildren about it.

Senior, you know how the akupas of the Senior Chief Mallam do not entertain ruff. How could Yahweh tell this guy man something like that without giving them advance notice? The Yahweh they know does not behave like that. So, armed with anger, stones, sticks, matches, kerosene and a little something to smoke and drink to turn their minds inside out and outside in, they marched to Kowus Bumper’s abode and rained insults and stones on the property.

Senior, Komfo Nyame-Nipa was taking his breakfast when the invaders arrived and as the missiles started landed, he called on Yahweh but Yahweh did not answer. First the rocks that landed on his property created an earthquake, I mean a kukruduu. Kowus-Bumper listened for the Voice of Yahweh, but heard nothing.

Senior, the angered akupas, threw fire into the property, but the Voice of Yahweh was not in the fire. Then Kowus-Bumper remembered that in the assembly of chaos and commotion, Yahweh spoke to His servant Elijah in a still, calm and quiet voice.

Senior, Kowus-Bumper strained his ears in search of that still, calm and quiet voice, but nothing was heard. It was there and then that his Sweetie-Sweetie-Muah-Muah sensing that Yahweh was not around but in far away Russia, trying to talk sense into Putin’s head inside for him not to invade Ukraine, she pushed her loving husband into the trunk inside of a Zoomlion borlacar look-alike and got him out of danger.

Senior, when he alighted at the dump heap site, Kowus Bumper immediately went into the Odaw river and bathe his body, seven times like how Nathan instructed Naaman to do in the Jordan River to rid his body of leprosy.

Senior, from there, Kowus Bumper summoned his temple priests to accompany him to see the Senior Chief Mallam. When they arrived, Kowus Bumper prostrated on the floor and never lifted his face to look inside the face inside of the Senior Chief Mallam. And started confession, “Bless me Chief Mallam for I have sinned. I have told the untruth about you. In fact, what Yahweh told me to tell you is not good. Do not mind Yahweh, He did not talk well. In fact, He cannot do you fooko! Senior Chief Mallam, may you live long, (ameen), may you live to outlive Methuselah (ameen), may you live to see your great grandchildren’s great grandchildren, grow to become great grandparents. (ameen)”

Senior, this is the Okomfo-Nyame-Nipa who always boasts that Yahweh always puts words in his mouth to tell people and yet this time round when he said what he told us that Yahweh said he should say, and walaha don land and palaver decided to take over matters arising, this man of Yahweh came in the open and denounce his Lord, saying Yahweh did not speak well.

Senior, the other day he also came to tell us that Yahweh told him to tell us that a gutter-to-gutter competition between Ohemma Lizzy’s village and Julius Caesar’s would end in favour of Ohemma Lizzy’s gutter-to-gutter squad because Ohemma Lizzy is the great greatgreat granddaughter two thousand times removed of Auntie Lizzy, the mother of John the Baptiser and cousin to Eno Mary, Yesu Christus Emmanuel’s beloved mother.

Senior, it came to past that Ohemma Lizzy’s village lost the game and when we asked Kowus Bumper what happened, he said Yahweh told him that all the akupas of Ogyakrom decided to play char-char by placing bets on the game, instead of finding work to do, so He rigged the results before the game even started. Hmmm.

Senior, today too, this Kowus-Bumper man of Yahweh is saying he used to play alokoto, gutter-to-gutter and kwani-kwani with angels of Yahweh when he was a small boy. Meaning he was anointed from birth to associate with angels.

Senior, now people in Ogyakrom want to take this Kowus Bumper serious and channel all their grievances to Yahweh through him instead of going to church. Even the churches’ choirs have started singing in his praises… “Born the playmates of angels, oh come let us adore him, oh come let us adore him…”

Senior, it was then that a certain dirty looking and wrecked looking small boy laughed and laughed at his seniors, parents and elders for believing Kowus-Bumper again.

He said “Ladies, gentlemen and others, good day some of you. Kowus-Bumper had been playing with Babie dolls when he was small and he had believed they were angels. So you all go to sleep, but not before reading Yahweh’s Word. Good night!”

Senior, I do not want to cross cutlasses with Yahweh’s men so I am Dan, sorry I am Done.

Its Me.Top of Form


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