Letter to Senior Opupulepu (197); Beware! Some of these Nineteen Angles Can Kill

Dear Senior Opupulepu,

How are you do? I hope you are do fine, fine, because the matter I am carrying on my head today, is a very serious matter. So, as for me I do not know whether I am fine, fine.

Senior, you remember the days that when it made like you sick small, then your mother will catch you and put you face down on her laps and strip your pants down, exposing your difficult buttocks to the sky for all and sundry and sundry and all to see.

Senior, then this your mother will push that thing called bentua into your something and squeeze it so that all the concoctions and ingredients inside would alight into your bottom, inside.

Senior, then your mother will put security padlock, by way of her hand at your bottom mouth, putting everything inside there under lock and key. Meanwhile it will make like some dynamite want to explode from that your municipality.

Senior, after what would seem like three market days, your dear old mother, will let go of you, but first turning your head towards the place of convenience so that you do not miss road.

Senior, when you arrived at your choice destination, you quickly sit on the something and free everything inside your inside from slavery and how they always run out for freedom. After you are sure that there is no captive inside your inside, you clean up and go and report to your mother, how cool and fresh you feel.

Senior, such treatment can be dehumanising because, if like, you are you and believe you are you in the area and someone sees your naked buttocks that is the end of your pride and arrogance. You are finished.

Especially if you are a girl and you insult boys who but only look at your feet, let alone your thighs, and for them now to spy your buttocks, oh dear, just do exodus from the area and relocate far, far away.

It will be very embarrassing if your buttocks are not smooth but rough with spots on it like some rough road in a place like Teshie.

Senior, it was so until the children of Auntie Floor Ren Nineteen Angles came into the vicinity when an aspitil was founded. Gradually, mothers stopped this method of curing mosquito disease and stomach upside downs as in upset.

Senior, soon, we all started making lobilobi with Auntie Nineteen Angles daughters because to tell you the truth there were very beautiful.

Because of their beauties, some of us intentionally fall ill, so that when we go to aspitil, we fast and pray that we should be given mosquito’s mode of operation as in injections.

And how something will start doing us when that beautiful nurse slightly rubs our buttocks upstairs and push the pin inside our skin inside.

If it were mosquito bitingus like we will feel it, but not when such a beautiful nurse pushes that pin inside us. We feel nothing but the sweetness of her hand and the sensations it is causing inside our inside.

Senior, in fact, this sensation makes the disease feel uncomfortable and it will relocate by fire by force.

Senior, now this is my problem. The other day I saw a beautiful great granddaughter of Auntie Floor Ren Nineteen Angle who was like an Al-Qaeda or Boko Haram look alike.

Senior, she was speaking in tongues and what she said was that woe-betides those who would come to the aspitil she would be posted too. Since man must die, she would make sure every one she attends to, would be transformed into ghost and people will be singing, “lead kindly light” over their coffins as they are been led to the point of no return.

Senior, this small girl was saying that all her life she had wanted to sell kooko and kola nuts, but was forced to learn a trade that will make her a miamiakro nurse as in a nurse that treats people’s smelly sores.

Senior, all Ogyakrom is shaking as to whether there are many more like her, who have decided to just shut and wait till the time comes.

Senior, as it is, people have started buying bentua and going to their grandmothers to take evening classes in the administration of bentua for the treatment of all manner of diseases like cold, hot, stomach upstairs and hunger, yes, hunger because hunger can kill.

Senior, I am going to look for bentua to buy, they are now short on the market and their prices are ten times more than what they used to be. And with our Ogyakrom cowry now expiring quickly, I cannot take chances.

Senior, I am Dan, sorry I am Done.

It’s Me!


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