Dear Senior Opupulepu,
How are you do? I hope you are do fine, fine. As me and all born-agains, we are all do fine, fine.
Senior, I believe you know Wofa Nicodemus, well, well. You must know him, since by your current age you are closer to him and so you and Wofa Nicodemus can be shordies.
Senior, this Wofa Nicodemus, broke lights-out rules and visited Yesu Christus Emmanuel in anadwodaaesum, as in night-sleep-inside-darkness.
Senior, he was even in head mask, face mask and nose mask, all worn together so that he would never be identified. When he got into Yesu Christus Emmanuel’s compound, he was lucky Wofa Thomas was not on guard duty at that time, or he would have doubted Wofa Nicodemus’ reasons for that late night visit.
Senior, this our Wofa Nico had brought alone with him, the passports of himself, his wife and his children, with something small in a black polythene bag, begging Yesu Christus Emmanuel for visa connections to Heaven.
Senior, Yesu Christus Emmanuel, who is a very honest and principled man, and thus cannot be bribed or receive bribes, gently, returned the gifts and passports and told Wofa Nico that he did not need visa or even passport if he wanted to go to Heaven. He was only to be born again.
Senior, Wofa Nico, screamed saying how could it be possiblefor a full-grown mosquito like him, to crawl back into his mother’s womb to be born-again.
Senior, since generations from Wofa Nico’s time, no one, in fact, in no village has there been any recording of someone who was born-again.
Senior, it was only yesterday, that things happened in Ogyakrom again, and this time, there is the documentary evidence that an adult full-grown mosquito of a human being has been physically born-again.
Senior, that Municipal Police called Madam Toffee of the Jamboree kiosk, has proven, by way of DNA, forensic audit, polygraph examination, biometrics, swearing before a no-nonsense deity, that she was born-again. Indeed, she was.
Senior, but WHOW! Combining WHAT and HOW! It was proven in the presence of one of those old folks who sit on benches doing nothing that when Madam Tofee was first born, she promised on her honour to be loyal and faithful, to Yahweh, her Lord God.But as she was growing and started having breasts on her chest, her character was a characteristic to be compared to Wofa Sasabosam’s last born, the baby last and dada baa in that family.
Senior, Madam Toffee’s mother who was the women’s fellowship leader in the Church, started serious fasting and prayer sections and one day while she was very weak out of hunger, she prayed begging Yesu Christus Emmanuel for the redemption of her daughter, Madam Toffee.
Senior, crying and weeping, she asked Yesu Christus Emmanuel, how her only begotten daughter, Madam Toffee can also enter into the Kingdom of Yahweh, some.
Senior, Yesu Christus Emmanuel cried out in response, “Verily, Verily and Amen, Amen, I say unto you, unless she is born-again.”
Senior, this loving mother, went all out to make it possible for her wayward daughter, Madam Toffee to crawl back into her womb and at the appointed time, she was born-again. She alone, has two birthdays, born in two different years and in two different villages. She alone is one of the only kind, in the whole of ewiase.
Senior, Madam Toffee was at first born in Martey-Korle’s hole in the KpakpoShito district of Ogyakrom. Then, due to the need for her to make it to Yahweh’s kingdom, by fire by force, her mother went to the village where ivory is as common as sand at the seashore, and open her stomach, push her inside and kept her there under lock and key for nine moons, before letting her out.
Senior, as she stood in front of that old folk who just sit on benches doing practically nothing, it dawned on the old folk that he must awaken from the lazy siesta and start doing something, in fact he must start thinking since the last time he ever did any thinking was in primary school when he was forced to figure out the result of adding one and one together.
Senior, standing in front of him, was someone born twice, on two different days, in two different years, genuinely celebrates her birthday twice a year, has two different boyfriends, who are known to each other and are very best of friends, and looking forward to marrying these two different men at the same time. This has never happened in Ogyakrom before, but today it is happening life. And from the Umbrella clan, where else? These people never cease to amaze.
Senior, if, indeed, this Madam Toffee, is in fact the unholy duality, then why should she settle for only one kiosk? Why the Jump-Roll, aka Jamboree kiosk, alone. She should have been representing another kiosk in addition. What is she and the Umbrella clan up to? I think this is the reason they dragged her to see that old folk who was just sitting on a bench doing nothing and thinking nothing.
Senior, Ogyakrom is now in the Guinness Bottle of Stout Beer inside, setting record as the only place where Yesu Christus Emmanuel’s decree that if one wants a free passage to Yahweh’s Kingdom, then he or she born-again, has physically and actually materialised.
Senior, if I were you, I will make Madam Toffee my paddy, so that when she gets to Yahweh’s Kingdom, she should arrange a place for me.
Senior, I am Dan, sorry I am done.