Letter to Senior Opupulepu (183) An Elephant metamorphoses in an Umbrella.

Dear Senior Opupulepu,

How are you do? As for me and my shordies, we are all do fine, fine.

Senior, this ewiase that we live in it, is more wonder than the wonder club, Oly Gbogbo.

Senior, there are things which are very impossible to think about let alone to happen. Example, you know the two top gutter-to-gutter practitioners in Ogyakrom, I am referring to Kill-Under, Kum-Asie, Great Kumaka and Akla Hacks of Old. These two teams have sworn, vowed and taken an oath to hate and dislike one and the other, so help them Yahweh.

Senior, because of their dislike and dis-love to one another, no one can ever dream that they will play friendly matches let alone fixed matches.

Senior, in this Ogyakrom village we all come from it, everybody lies down in his or lane inside. So, it no Oly Gbogbo, sorry, no wonder, when Akwasi Broni came to tell us that Yahweh descended down to their village to tell him to tell us that He made a typographical error, when He was typing the Holy Bar-Bowl.

Senior, when we asked “why come Yahweh, Himself, the Main Man, the Boss Man, can make typing errors?” We were told that when He was about to shower His blessings on the right and righteous, He found out that the list He was given contained ghost names. This was what distracted Him when He was typing the Holy Bar-Bowl.

Senior, when we ask about the errors and the necessary corrections, Akwasi Broni, told us that Yahweh told him to tell us that the portion where He said man cannot wear woman kaba and woman cannot wear man pioto, should have read and should from now onwards read, man can cut of his something and give to any woman of his choice to super-glue it at her under somewhere. And women can use excavator to level their chests and give the debris to man to construct on his chest.

Senior, Akwasi Broni, went on to say, that where Yahweh said man should not know man and woman should not know woman, should be wipe clean with correction fluid and this should be written on top of it. Whenever man wants to go to Suhum-Nsawam, and he does not have any female to accompany him on the way, he can go with another man. Likewise, if a woman feels like enjoying life small beneath the sheets and there is no man available for her to explore the bed top with, she could do so with another woman.

Senior, Ogyakromian men and women got bored and they clapped and sung “Away!” They were bold to tell Akwasi Broni that, he should go and tell Yahweh that as for this they are not accept. So, Akwasi Broni, went away sad, because the people who need redemption have rejected the words of salvation.

Senior, the problem here is that people of Ogyakrom and all villages around it have vowed and sworn and taking an oath to remain steady in some roads and ways of life. It is unheard of, for man and man to hug let alone dance smooching and it is imperceivable for woman and woman to do same. That was not how our gods told us to live in this life and when they, our gods, converted to Yahweh’s Son, Yesu Christus Emmanuel’s side and others chose to walk with Mohammed’s Allah, all of Ogyakrom now stand on the side of the Lord.

Senior, when this was so because when Yahweh showed us His manifesto, we Ogyakromians and all people of other villages who are as black as keteke charcoal, become very familiar with most of the laws, rules and regulations in it, because same were found in the love letters of our gods.

Senior, so there and then we all converted to the side of Yahweh and Allah who are One and the Same One God.

Senior, the main characteristics of the common Ogyakromian is to remain ever faithful, ever sure in his or her beliefs. It will be easier to move Mount Afadzato from where it is located and transfer it to the Komenda Sugar Factory area, then to make an Ogyakromian to shift from his beliefs, thoughts and ways of life to another.

Senior, it is because of this that people gathered in the village square asking the same questions, “have you heard” or “is it true”What is it that people have heard and what is it that could be true?

Senior, it came to pass and was revealed, that a certain Elephant man, who was the aplanke of the letter writer of the Elephant clan community association in the homeland of Chew-Can-Lie and How High, I am referring to the people whose eyes are half shut and loves to eat uncooked Brother Long, has transgendered into an Umbrella.

Senior, yes, you read right. A certain Elephant herbalist, who is called Chief Pokuase, has gone to the hospital and underwent transgender surgery to become and now look like an Umbrella.

Senior, I am still wondering how someone who was originally an Elephant will now look like an Umbrella. Oly Gbogbo shall never end, sorry, Wonders shall never end.

Senior, I think I am Dan, sorry I am Done. I am so confused to carry on writing.

It’s Me!


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