Them dey say … Hmmm … That our Omanhene’s Chief Aplanke no bi Ogyakromian!
Dear Senior Opupulepu,
How are you do? As me and all my mines, we are do fine, thank you.
Senior, Ogyakromians will never seize, or is it cease, okay let me write proper brofo. Ogyakromians will never seasthe opportunity to amaze.
Senior, our Omanhene’s chief aplanke has in his direct assistant or better still secondary in command, the Walewalena My-Mood Bar-Owner, who is said to have inherited from the Land of Long-Noses, to be precise, from Nana Charse-Keley’s home village, Ngleshie, not the one near Jejeti hamlet.
Senior, our one and only Walewalena, has set many records in Ogyakrom. To begin with, he is an Allah-Kubala from birth and as you know the Allah-Kubalas are not in agreement with those who follow Yahweh’s Son, Yesu Christus Emmanuel in spirit and in truth.
Senior, the Allah-Kubalas are saying that Yahweh cannot sire any pikin because of His age, as Ancient of Days, there is no way He can catch any woman to do sweetie-sweetie muah-muah with. According to them, Yahweh is tooadvanced in age and do not cannot go after women, so, how can He sire a pikin?
Senior, what even confuses the Allah-Kubala the more, is that, the Yesu Christus Emmanuel people are claiming that Yesu Christus and Yahweh are One and the Same together with Spiritus Sanctus. That cannot be possible.
Senior, because of this, no Allah-Kubala will look at a Yesu Christus kiosk, let alone join them to celebrate the Christus-Metro Mass festival.
Senior, this was so until My-Mood entered into the world. As we speak, he has two baptismal cards. One was from the Allah-Kubala kiosk and the other was from the I-Will-Buy-And-Eat as in Metor-Medi church. In short, My-Mood is the only person who has been truly born and born-again.
Senior, and again, this My-Mood pikin was very sharp and brilliant in skuul. He went from stage to stage and established blue kiosks of learning and education. So, he was known as Bar-Owner. He taught Ogyakromians how to buy koobi from the market while sitting on your bed at home.
Senior, blue kiosks serve ogyateshie, which is distilled in Bubuashie, sampled in Kaneshie, bottled in Laterbiokoshie, packaged in Awoshie, warehoused in Agbogbloshie, retailed in Balaweshie and drunk in Teshie.
Senior, the Allah-Kubala people do not like getting close to ogyateshie and any of its associates, but even though My-Mood is a Bar-Owner, they are scared to sack him from the clan.
Senior, as things stand, here we have someone who is both an Allah-Kubala and Yesu Christus follower. He is an Alhaji Bishop, the first ever in ewiase. As things stand, those who are laughing at My-Mood Bar-Owner, will laugh at the wrong side of their mouths on the day Yahweh will sit in judgment during the final examinations’ day. My-Mood will fully answer questions centred on Allah-Kubala and all questions on Yesu Christus as well.
Senior, I will advise you to start making friends with My-Mood so that he will give you some apor, so that on the examination day, you would have known all the questions without the invigilator knowing that you had acquired the examination questions before the examinations.
Senior, one can say Walewalena My-Mood Bar-Owner, is a man of wonders and wonderful works. Recently, it came out that just as he is both in Allah’s camp and Yesu’s as well, he is also an Ogyakromian and Ngleshian. WHOW!!! Combing WHAT and HOW!!!
Senior, if it is his for-better-for-worse who is accused of being a Long-Nose, I will not argue. Auntie Samina is touch-light skin and has a medium long-nose. But My-Mood is charcoal coloured, and pygmy nose.
Senior, but there is one thing that betrays his ancestry of the Long-Noses. He can smile and laugh by-heart. You see these Long-Noses are always laughing and smiling and these can be found in Walewalena My-Mood Bar-Owner.
Senior, so what in the ewiasi did those enemies of progress see in Walewalena My-Mood Bar-Owner that makes them see him as a non-Ogyakromian? Is it petty jealousy or is it that they are from witches’ camps?
Senior, or is because My-Mood can speak obroni speech so impeccably? If that is the case, then why did they not say that the Great Leopard Nana Onsurowuo Owubia Ye Owuo is a non Ogyakromian?
Senior, when Nana speaks obroni speech, you will think it is the late Ohenma Lizzy who is speaking. When he speaks obroni speech, not a single member of the Umbrella clan understands him. It is like they are still in their My First Copy Book days and the Great Leopard is speaking like university oral Nglish professor.
Senior, the Umbrella clan do not like the Great Leopard but are afraid to say so. They have decided to attack the meek and humble and calm, Walewalena My-Mood Bar-Owner, instead. They have credited lots of ogyateshie and kpokeke from his bar and they have not paid anything.
Senior, knowing that soon, our School Prefect, the man who smiles and kisses, Kissi-Kissing Agyabeng, but is very wicked well, well, will invite them for afternoon kooko and koose but arrest them like he did to one Prof, they want to have our Walewalena My-Mood Bar-Owner locked up before such invitation comes.
Senior, I am Dan, sorry I am done.
It’s me!
