Dear Senior Opupulepu,
How are you do? I hope you are do fine, as me and my abusua are all do fine.
Senior, you are remember the days when you go to fose-line to purchase deported clothing from the Land of the Long-Noses?
Senior, you are remember, how you do proper selection just to pick your choice and get fine, fine spoats to buy and wear and catch the daughters of Eve, young?
Senior, those were the days when even the local Osofo will order his taste and come to church shouting “The Lord is Good! Amen, Somebody!” The fact is that he has bought the best osofospoats leaving his colleagues empty handed making them go about reciting, “The Lord is my Shepherd, I am not want,”backwards, meanwhile they areseriously in want, well, well.
Senior, when the bales of deported clothing aka obroniwawu, are dumped at dumping sites, many people flock there and bend-down to pick their choice. But then gradually, the patronage started dwindling in size, weight and height.
Senior, the retailers sat down at a meeting and thought and thought and thought how to find solution to the problem.
Senior, they did forensic audit on all items sold in Ogyakrom since the Long Noses came and left, and see their how far.
Senior, not long after that, their research revealed that the problem was not a problem at all. There was this particular fish or water animal for short which was born and bred in Ogyakrom and has never stepped fins out of this village.
The Nukedzo clan, call it akpaaand when this akpaa, known in the Misimisi clan as something like apartheid or is it apart-tricks sanitizes itself with salt, they call it koobi.
Senior, this fish used to not have market. You buy one and will get five free and it was so until one day this akpaaor apart-tricks, decided to follow Yesu Christus Emmanuel, some and enter into a Roman Katholico church to be converted.
Even though Akpaa is water-born, the Roman Katholico Osofo bath him with water, saying, “Tilapia, I baptise you in the Name of the Egya, the Baa and the SumsuumPure-Clean.” Akpaa now took pride and everywhere he goes, he will proudly say,“My name is Tilapia.”
Senior, then boom Akpaa, sorry Tilapia get market. This time any price the retailers called, people will buy and even ask the seller to keep the change even though the price went sky-high. And one hundred pieces of akpaais worth a quarter of Jubilation Hut.
Senior, the deported clothing cartel thought and thought and thought and came out with a brand name which became catchy. They rejected their kiosk name, fose-line and rebranded itas,bend-down boutique.
Senior, come and see rush, I do not mean date-rush, but rush-rush. In fact, the dada-bees and the mama-bees colonized these bend-down boutiques. And when you ask them whatever they are during there, they will say they are buying clothing for their house-helps to wear and scrub the floors in their houses. It’s a lie, a big, big lie.
Senior, the other day, when I went to one of these bend-down boutiques, I was eyeing a certain suit but a dada-bee beat me to it. A few days later, I saw him in this same suit at the aroplane park about to board an iron bird to fly out of Ogyakrom.
Senior, then something happened. You see that our Omanhene is from the Elephant clan and unfortunately all deported clothing could only fit the averageunderage and undersize Ogyakromians. Even that they will have to pull their stomachs in for allowance. Now, if even Pygmies find these clothing to be too tight, then what about Elephants?
Senior, our Omanhene then came out with a degree and degreed that from henceforth going forward and never coming backwards, from today to go, all deported clothing had been banned from entering into Ogyakrom. If Elephants cannot do bend-down boutiques some, then nobody should go there some.
Senior, there and then a certain Cassius Ato Forcing, an Umbrella clansman, got up and said, “As for this we from the Umbrella clan, no go gree! We no go stand there make them cheat we every day! Dabida! Who born cat?”
Senior, when I went into the matter, I found out that the major reason why the Umbrellas do not want deported clothing to be banned from even coming close to Ogyakrom land borders, territorial waters and airspace, is that, they were all planning to go Kwahu this Easter.
Senior, the Umbrella male species had wanted to put on the latest trousers which hangs at the thighs and tied with rope. And their female species will like to wear clothing that fail in attemptsto cover their bodies but rather expose everything about their bodies which should be hidden.
Senior, all this is because of Kwahu males and Kwahu females. The Umbrella men feel their women are too ugly to be associated with and so they want to catch fresh and nice Kwahu girls, while the Umbrella women claim their men are now non-performing assets and they now need those highly charged Kwahu men who can do the do and perform well, well.
Senior, this is Ogyakrom for you. I am Dan, sorry I am Done.
It’s Me.
