Dear Senior Opupulepu,
How are you do? I hope you are do fine, fine. As for me I do not think I am do fine, fine because I am confusing wide, wildly.
Senior, you are know, that once upon a time, time-time, we the good, the bad and the ugly people of Ogyakrom were under the under of the Long Nose People from Ohemaa Lizzy’s village.
Senior, they sat on all our rights and lefts and made sure that we trusted and obeyed them, if we wanted to be happy in our own village.
Senior, then some stubborn villagers who were so troublesome from birth that even their parents wanted to reject them, but could not, because what if Yahweh ask them at the Heavenly Gate, about what they did with the gifts He gave them. Remember pickins, they say are gifts from Yahweh.
Senior, these cos-trouble guys and gals decided not to sit down make them cheat them every day. With loud sounds of choo bueee the Long Noses suddenly remembered that they too came from somewhere and in that somewhere such nonsense was never ordained so they pick up polythene bags and loaded in their belongings and left on the 24th of December to their village to go and chop bronya.
Senior, Ogyakrom became free forever, free to be managed and mismanaged by Ogyakromians. But that forever was short-lived.
Senior, as you remember when we were small boys, we used to go and watch cine. There were Cowboy films, Roman films (not Roman Katholico films), War films, Action films, and many more.
Senior, as you remember, we took the names of our favourite stars and personally outdoor ourselves and rename ourselves with such names. So, Akwasi Boateng, will be called Achilles, Kotey Neequaye became Guiliano Gemma, Kwabena Amikaketo, became Hercules and Koshi Agbelimovo, became Roy Rogers.
Senior, such names stuck more than the one’s parents named and called their children. Many times, you go to visit a friend and walk into the house he showed you. You meet his father who asked who you want, and you say “I am after Guy Yoyo, sir.” The poor father does not know who that Guy Yoyo is.
Senior, before we could pick all the names of the movie stars, in came the people whose eyes hardly can open but they see, well, well. Yes, the people from the Chew and Lie village. The people who when born and are to named, a sacred family plate is given to the abusuapanyin who will throw it into the air and when it lands on the concrete floor, the sounds it will make will become the names of the baby.
Senior, so if the plate hits the floor and goes like kponechanchan, the poor baby will forever be called Kong Chan Chai. That is all, naming ceremony finish.
Senior, these people from Chew and Lie village came with films where you will hear, “Hajime Oots Mamayitey,” and people will begin fighting when nothing at all brought up the fight. Then also came names like Wang Yu, Ti Lung, David Chiang, Bruce Lee, Helen Ma and many others which we the growing rascals had to re-outdoor and re-christen ourselves.
Senior, all along these Chew and Lie people had a plan. Once we adopted their Kungfu, not in any relationship with our most cherished Omanhene of all times, Nana Agyei Kungfu, they trapped us and we allowed them to slowly but surely colonialise us. Again? Yes, senior, Again.
Senior, it came to past that our new colonial masters, whose eyes are permanently shut but still can see well, well, sat in their village and like how the Long Noses sat in theirs some long, long time ago and divided our villages, they also again divided our villages and sent down their prisoners who were serving life sentences to come and preach the word of damnation, not salvation to us.
Senior, then came one old lady who decided to worship Allah small so baptised herself Ayisha. This woman was dreaming that the only way to reduce the ever-increasing population of the people of Chew and Lie, was to hunt people down and kill them one by one.
Senior, she woke up in a certain hamlet here in Ogyakrom and pick up her tiabrofre as in pluck pawpaw and went picking and shooting and transforming to death any black Ogyakromian who cross her sight. This is not agree, here in Ogyakrom, because here, only Yahweh can end someone’s life.
Senior, instead of sending her into the life hereafter some, so that she can locate those she killed and bring them back, our senior prefect of all the servants of our Omanhene Nana Onsurowuo, Chief Servant Osofo Manfo, said, as man of Yahweh, he had a vision from Yahweh who commanded him that we should take Ayisha to the iron bird station and make her bye-bye, allowing her to go back home.
Senior, just as Yesu Christus Emmanuel died and rose up and came back to life, this Ayisha is back alive among all Ogyakromians in this our Ogyakrom village. This our new colonial masters and mistresses have strong powers.
Senior, whether she is a ghost, I do not want to know, so I am Dan, sorry I am Done.
It’s me!
