Dear Senior Opupulepu,
How are you do? I hope that you are do fine. As for me and my family we are just confused and fine, fine.
Senior, you must remember my ancestor, the Great Prophet Daniel who featured prominently in the Holy Book. He was the one who entered the residential area of lions and wined and dined with them. He even played alokotoand kwani-kwani with these beasts and spent the full night sleeping on some of them and came back to tell the story.
Senior, that Prophet Daniel is a true prophet of Yahweh. But there is a certain prophet who will prophesy the event after it had taken place. He is from the Hosa-Hosa Ho village, the land of Makeba, Ipi-Tombi, Yvonne the Shark among many others like In-the-Begingin.
Senior, this prophet who was mistakenly and accidentally called Daniel, is popularly known as Prophet Daniel Dani d’ Jordan River and recently he prophesied an after event and claimed that Yahweh told him to told us that.
Senior, what was the matter? The Ogyakrom village squad of gutter-to-gutter professionals recently went to Hosa-Hosa Ho village to engage that village’s squad in gutter-to-gutter and small posts.
Senior, upon arrival, our boys saw the beauty and the behind of the Hosa-Hosa-Ho daughters of Eve and were so flabbergasted, overwhelmed, overhauled, and confused as to what they had to do. In fact, they forgot the reason why they went to that village.
Senior, each player encountered not less than two hundred ladies, winking at them and making suggestive faces with coquettish looks. This entered the inside of our players and something started doing them.
Senior, to establish the fact that they had come in peace and love and not war and hatred, our boys played for Hosa-Hosa Ho instead of playing for Ogyakrom. They created chances upon chances for the Hosa boys to just tap in balls into their open net, but try as hard as our boys did, the Hosa-Hosa Ho boys could not score any goal.
Senior, this frustrated our boys who decided that they will score themselves and they did just that. Come and see jubilation from our bench. In fact, our coach even paid losing bonus to our player who scored that own goal.
Senior, but after all these voluntary sacrifices, not a single player landed a Hosa-Hosa Ho daughter of Eve. They picked up their polythene bags and came back home empty handed.
Senior, back in Ogyakrom, someone, and I do not know who, told the Ogyakromian girls the real reason behind our defeat. And trust our girls, they immediately promised on their honour to faithful and loyal to their dignity unless our boys whip and whip well-well, the Hosa Ho boys whenever they cross boots again.
Senior, so it came to pass when without any advance notice, the Hosa Ho boys landed santam and dared our gutter-to-gutter professionals to come for round two.
The two sides re-engaged themselves into gutter-to-gutter and small posts. And during the game, one Ogyakrom player who chose to be in the company of Hosa-Hosa Ho boys and conduct them round the field since they were visitors, got trapped between fourteen of the visitors.
Senior, this player felt like doing the do since his stomach started roaring and trembling. This was noticed by one of the visitors who volunteered to give him a hand and walk him to the washroom.
Senior, our boy fell after his hand was held and the referee immediately pointed to the spot kick place and the result was a goal for Ogyakrom. The rest is current affairs.
Senior, this single goal should put a stop to whatever dreams Hosa-Hosa Ho going forward from Ogyakrom, but as they say “if you do not blow your trumpet, who should blow it for you?” The Hosa-Hosa Ho peoples started saying all manner of things to indicate that the match was taken to mechanics who fixed it well-well for Ogyakrom. Some even said they collected bribe from the referee to make sure they were defeated.
Senior, enter the Okomfo and Prophet Daniel d’ Jordan entered. He spoke and said that Yahweh revealed it unto him to tell the world that, Hosa-Hosa Ho had to lose if not Ogyakrom’s susu man will notcome to tell us how we are to walk and eat in coming year.
Senior, if our susu man fails to do so, our Omanhene Nana Onsuroowuo Owuobiayewuo will not able to know how many bags of gari will be consumed in the year to come.
Senior, when asked why he did not reveal the prophecy before the match, Prophet Daniel d’ Jordan said he was only waiting to find out whether what Yahweh told him would come to pass. And now he knows that Yahweh is a God who lives by His Word.
Senior, he said to tell you that with this prophecy coming to pass, anytime Yahweh speaks to him, you will be the first to know.
Senior, good for you. You have a friend in a prophet. As for me, I am Dan, sorry I am Done.
It’s me.
