Letter to Senior Opupulepu (222) The Abongo Boys on the Rampage


Dear Senior Opupulepu,

How are you do? I hope you are do fine, like how me and my shordies are all do fine.

Senior, you must know the Abongo Boys well, well. They mostly wear green-green like they are green Brothers Long under green grass.

Senior, the name Abongo Boy is the house name for the Bow and Arrow Professionals. And they are such wild minded persons who booked no nonsense and nonsense self is afraid to go near them.

Senior, take a feeble akupa or akupress, to go for training to become a bow and arrow professional and when they come out you would see miracles. They who are afraid of spiders would come out of training, sleeping with snakes. They who are particular about what they eat will come out of training eating frogs and lizards for breakfast, snakes for lunch and vultures for supper.

Senior, they who do not play with their sleep will come out of training standing attention like a baobab tree all night long for at least six hours. They who cannot lift 5 kg bag of corn without collapsing will come out of training lifting a 5-tonne boneshaker with the tip of a finger. They who are also beating up by toddlers will come out of training easily beating ten Mike Tysons at a go and making them faint and collapse.

Senior, it is these Abongo Boys when even one enters a rowdy arena even without his bow or arrow, peace, perfect peace will descend down and everybody will start reciting, The Lord is my Shepherd, just in case. Many people will start confessing their sins so that in case they get transformed into ghosts, Yahweh’s angels will welcome them straight into Yahweh’s Heavenly Kingdom.

Senior, these bow and arrow professionals are such that they live under the Abantu Convention, I mean Touch-One-Touch-All. There were few cases when ordinary villagers will but only rudely tap an Abongo Boy, and before one could say kpanlogo-alorgor-alorgor-ligii, mau-mau, a whole regiment of Abongo Boys would descend upon that spot and start disciplining every living thing around, humans, cats, dogs, rats, lizards, frogs, flies, mosquitoes and all others will have their fair share of the beatings.

Senior, because of this whenever people even unintentionally dispatch pain or insult upon an Abongo Boy, some wise people in that vicinity would immediately start relocating to a far away google location. Safety first.

Senior, one thing about Ogyakromians is that villagers do not fear the Professional Thief Slappers even after what their chief, the one who dammed the River Pra, I mean Dam-Pra, had done to show that thief slappers demand respect

Senior, but as for Abongo Boys, you lie bad. Fear for these people are in everybody’s jeans trousers, sorry gins, no I mean genes. This is so, until some many moons ago, some hamlet dwellers of a certain hamlet called Dain Chiraa, decided to try their luck and early one morning, they went after one fine mamaba Abongo Boy by name Mahama and decided to transformhim into a ghost.This they succeeded in doing because to them the population of Ogyakrom was growing too big and family planning must be implemented to the letter so some must start taking the lead, anyway how.

Senior, these villagers from the hamlet called Dain Chiraadecided to inflict pain on Mahama so that he should know how his mother went through pains when bringing him into this life.

Senior, many moons have passed and the Bow and Arrow Professionals swallowed the humiliation and pain of losing a brother, the way he was forced to go and spared the villagers living at the hamlet called Dain Chiraa.

Senior, lo and behold, we were all sitting our somewhere, hoping against all hope that life that has become as hard as a cola nut in a toothless mouth will turn into Hausa kokoo in that same toothless mouth, when without warning, news dropped like lotto numbers that a certain Abongo Boy had been transformed into a ghost without him writing any application to go the way they made him go. This took place in a hamlet called Ayisha Town.

Senior, people then left lotto staking and started betting on whether the Bow and Arrow Professionals will do their thing some, this time round. And when one market day passed and there was no show people started assuming that now-a-days Abongo Boys have seen the light and have become born-again who will turn the other cheek when slapped.

Senior, just when those who relocated had come back, the Abongo Boys struck. Come and see beatings. It was like they had harboured beating of civilians in the chest for so long and so they let everything out and make them descend on people’s faces, heads and all other parts of the body.

Senior, a chalk and blackboard professional who got beaten well, well had this to say in pain, “if I knew about this kind of beatings, like no pupil will fail my subjects.”

Senior, the Abongo Boys are back and are on the rampage. The Bow and Arrow Professionals are reminding Ogyakromians of what they are made of.

Senior, as for me, I am Dan, sorry I am done. I do not want to cross the footpath of any Abongo Boy.

It’s me.


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