Dear Senior Opupulepu,
How are you do? As for me and my shordies we are all do fine.
Senior, there is an adage that goes like this, ‘man proposes, woman refuses, sorry Yahweh disposes.’
Senior, the meaning of this adage can be summarised to mean that, we mere mortals can make any plans we like and want, but it is only Yahweh that would decide the success or otherwise of our plans.
Senior, due to this complex nature of Yahweh, humankind always want to hear good news from the lips of prophets, who are Nyame-Komfo Nipa for short.
Senior, in fact any prophet at all, whether natural or artificial, potent or expired, true or false, it does not matter. So long as he comes out to say something that will sweet the ears,he is considered a true prophet.
Senior, that is why politricksters, who wants to genuinely of falsely lie to the people, and here, any lie be lie, will first visit any prophet of a shrine nearby, with myrrh, frankincense and gold; barrels of fresh palm wine, sheep, goats, fowls, bags of maize, millet, sorghum, beans and rice,with itemized foodstuffs, bales of customised obroniwawu, charcoal, firewood, drums of stream water, chamber pots and Ghana-Must-Go suitcases full of cowries.
Senior, ask what palm wine doing at a Pray-for-Me man of Yahweh’s palace? Please, know that when palm wine is fresh and sweet, and drunk in moderation, one’s head will not turn round like a vehicle in a roundabout.
Senior, the politrickster will then lie flat on the bare ground and will never lift his eyes as he adores the prophet who probably had just return from lunch in Heaven. He will then greet the man of Yahweh and ask permission to sit on a kitchen stool, which will be granted.
Senior, the politrickster will then seek the Holy Face of Yahweh in that ugly, godforsaken face of this prophet as if his face is a telescope through which he can see Yahweh sitting on His Throne in Heaven.
Senior, he will then ask what the oracles say concerning his intention to become a Municipal Police or the next Omanhene of the village.
Senior, with gifts given him and that surely solving his problems, considering he must feed his house and his concubines, the prophet will prophesy what the politrickster wants to hear. After all he does not intend to disturb Yahweh with this minor request since he believes he can handle things himself.
Senior, the Nyame-Komfo Nipa, will then go into tongues and speak in languages which he just made up and does not understand what exactly he himself is saying.
Senior, he will then clear his throat and while his mind is wondering how many cowries are in the Ghana-Must-Go, and thanking Yahweh for these gifts from such a lunatic, lost and confused creature who Yahweh might even regret creating him in His Image and Likeness; the prophet will be glad that he now has enough resources to win over that beautiful chorister who some of the akupas have set eyes on and giving him stiff competition, instead of memorising bible verses.
Senior, this prophet will clear his throat again and proclaim that while he was praying, Yahweh lifted him to a barrier post in Heaven and he was made to behold the star of the politricker which was shining brighter than all stars in Heaven, put together. There again, he saw the politricker, who even though he hasn’t bath for forty straight days and night, cladded in white fugu and in white djokoto and in white Charlie-wote, with calabash on his head as a crown and a tall walking stick in his left hand. He was being ushered by trainee angels unto a white and shinning kitchen stool. This signified that the politrickster could go and sleep and stop campaigning because he was already won. His name has been boldly written in the books of Heaven and duly registered as the in-coming Municipal Police or Omanhene of Ogyakrom.
Senior, this is what all politricksters will want to hear. However, what if a prophet who was duly commissioned by Yahweh to speak on His behalf, comes out to say the unpleasant truth?
Senior, a certain high priest of the Methodology Congregation, by name Stephen of Lake Bosumtwi, was swimming half naked in the lake when Yahweh told him to go and tell our immediate past ex-Omanhene Nana Obianyeobia Onaapowura, that his nonsense talks about cancelling the newtithe called Everlasting-Level or E-Level, had shut the gates of palace to him and he will never become omanhene right to the thousandth generation in his lineage.
Senior, why should Yahweh get angry about someone’s intention to cancel the E-Level, as soon as he becomes omanhene again? You see, Yahweh is an Everlasting God and He loves anything everlasting therefore this newly introduced tithe is dear to His Heart. Who born dog to cancel it?
Senior, the obedient prophet called Stephen of Lake Bosomtwi proclaimed in the village square exactly as he was told. Suddenly the Umbrella clan who believes in prophets are against this man of Yahweh as in the days of Ezekiel and Jeremiah. They even say he did not complete Free SHS and he is talking like that. How they are insulting him clearly shows that only things that sweeten their ears are things to be taken as true words from Yahweh.
Senior, hmmm, like I said, man proposes, woman refuses, sorry Yahweh disposes. As for me I am Dan, sorry I am Done.