Letter to Senior Opupulepu (121) One Men Went To Go, Went To Go Amidu
Dear Senior Opupulepu,
How are you do? As for me and my family we are all do fine.
Senior, you know that our skuul-prefect, One-Man-Went-To-Mow aka Kaiser Schnapps aka Benz-Bus has decided he was no longer going to skuul-prefect over us anymore.
Senior, they say this guy man was a nonsense man who in his youth could chase field mice and catch them with such ease as would a professional trapper. This One-Man-Went-To-Mow was such short fused guy who could easily blow up and attack all and sundry, sundry and all. He was a born boxer.
Senior, Kaiser Schnapps was one day picked by our president who art in heaven, I mean Atadwe Milk, to be his jogging mate for a lot casting championship festival in Ogyakrom. The jogging mate whose senior wins the lot casting will automatically occupy the white stool, as the assistant omanhene or better still the omanhene’s aplanke.
Senior, Atadwe Milk lost and was sitting his somewhere, minding his own business and counting the bruises he acquired during the fight. As for Benz-Bus, he would not accept this laying low. He brush his face, turned his neck from left to right, right to left, north to south and south to north. He plucked get-down to town, I mean he went to the village square and while doing some shadow dancing and shadow boxing, demanded that he should be sworn into office as the shadow omanhene’s aplanke of Ogyakrom.
Senior, because he believed in himself that he was indeed a shadow aplanke of the omanhene, he believed he was still in power. And so applied to attend Free SHS in Amelika. In the application he stated his position as true, true member of the Gentle Giant’s office staff.
Senior, the Amelika skuul was confused because it only educates commoners and not people who work in chiefs’ palaces. So it gathered courage to write to Gentle Giant and politely asked him why he would not send his son to a better skuul but rather chose that skuul.
Senior, the confusion this created in Ogyakrom was basaaa. But things proceeded small, small Atadwe Milk won a lot casting championship and became the omanhene. He announced to all and sundry, sundry and all that a certain akupa, guy man, area sheriff in the person of Ontiaobiara, was going to be his aplanke. The whole of Ogyakrom shouted “If it pleases our majesty.” And so Ontiaobiara became the omanhene’s aplanke.
Senior, our human Kaiser Schnapps was asked to be the senior prefect of all those I-Put-You professionals in Ogyakrom. And things happened. They say one day, this Benz-Bus, believed that he has grown enough wings and so for the first time since Yahweh created esuro and ewiase, by saying esuro, I am not talking about the position the Great Leopard, Nana Onsurowuo Owuobiarayeowuo, will occupy in the eighth coming lot casting.
Senior, what was I saying…yes, for the first time after creation a servant in a king’s palace could look the king in the face and say, “I put it to you, that Nana you are wrong.” Now when Atadwe Milk was not yielding to the charges preferred against him by his chief servant, this One-Man-Went-To-Mow, threw a series of punches with great precision at the omanhene. Another first to occur after creation.
Senior, our man, the shadow boxer, the Benz-Bus, the human Kaiser Schnapps was briefly and quickly sent packing out of the palace. He was jobless and set up a non-governmental organization (NGO) for himself which he called Cities-Vigil-Landers. The work of this NGO is to go looking for field mice and accusing them of chopping our maize stored in the barn.
Senior, when the Great Leopard squatted on the stool, he decided he needed to upgrade this NGO into governmental organisation and called it the Office of the Skuul Prefect. Lo and behold, this came to pass and our man, One-Man-Went-To-Mow, became the first class prefect there.
Senior, his job was to look for the mice that chop our maize in the barn and for forty moons, this man could not trap any mice to even catch one. And one thing too was that he was putting on weight, so people added one and one together and said…. Please I cannot say what the people said because they did not ask me to say it.
Senior, one fine day we heard loud chorus of this melodic skuul song being sung with such sweetness. It went like this, “One man went to mow, went to mow amidu.” We asked ourselves whether the skuul pickins have come to skuul only to see and hear our Skuul Prefect singing loud and clear with an envelope in hand and marching towards the omanhene’s palace.
Senior, the words of this song was rather quite different from what we know. He sang this song by singing, “One man went to go, went to go amidu, one man and his hat, went to go amidu.” We also sang in reply, “Oh Lord what can the matter be…” and follow him to know what the matter was all about.
Senior, our skuul prefect walked straight to the omanhene while he was sitting with his counsellors and spoke and said, “Omanhene, it was I who said I was only going to try this job. I never said that I will succeed at it. Now that failure is staring me in the face, I say to you, ‘sumu dzi wo akrantie,’ as for me I went to go.”
Senior, he did not wait for the omanhene to even give him a seat, he went straight walking away. So as it is we do not have a skuul prefect at the moment. This means that no one will write our names when we make late for assembly. We are born free to be free.
As for me, I am not understand this our ex-former-before-before skuul prefect, maybe post does not sweet him.
I am Dan, sorry I am Done.