By GODFRIED K. ARHIN-KUMI
(Advocate against cheating and of peaceful co-existence)
When you ask me what is the sweetest thing in the world, not pertaining to taste but emotional and social satisfaction, I will not hesitate to give marriage a pride of place.
This is because, in marriage, two lovers have decided to live together under the same roof, and this means a lot. They will have the chance to share everything in common, a positive sign of absolute and untainted affection for each other.
While the man feeds, clothes and protects the wife from any harm, besides contributing to the manufacture of children, the wife, on her part, cooks for him, gives him water to bath, and washes his clothes; finally, she has to give in to the dictates of his libido, a must delicacy in marriage.
As time goes on, however, things begin to fall apart, with each trying to keep his/her distance, even while in bed. The wife may even prefer to sleep on a mat spread on the floor, leaving the man alone on the bed to have a restless sleep, with many thoughts chasing themselves in his mind.
As it is proverbially said, “There is no smoke without fire,” and, therefore, there must be some tangible reasons for the “cold war” between them. Periscope will volunteer to examine some of these causes.
Some men are easily infatuated with a woman’s outside beauty, made up of succulent behinds, breasts, dancing buttocks, dreamy eyes, etc. They, therefore, swear heaven and earth to woo her without taking pains to know her background – where she comes from, the work she does, character, etc.
He has obviously forgotten that beauty fades with time, but character endures forever. It is after their marriage that the man realises the gold in Shakespeare’s observation that “all that glitters is not gold.”
The woman’s physical charms are not commensurate with her character. The man feels disappointed, since, even his simple questions are met with haughty disdain, because she feels the man is far below her, due to her beauty. She is also found to be lazy and cares less about environmental cleanliness. The food they eat is usually procured from food joints outside.
The cold war continues, since the ‘lady’ does not even listen to pieces of advice from her parents. The man can no longer bear his ‘queen’s’ distressing behaviour. Divorce is imminent.
Conversely, a man dying for the love of a woman falls into the temptation of giving her the juicy and mouth-watering promises that, generally, he has all that it takes to give her a blissful marriage. This, however, turns out to be false.
Thus, the wife begins to ear the cloak of frustration, to the extent that she thinks divorce is the only option left for her to extricate herself from such a connubial entanglement expressed in inadequate housekeeping money, incessant quarrels, insensitivity to her sufferings, etc. Divorce is imminent.
In some cases, even though the two lovers are compatible, there is this nagging situation of childlessness in the marriage, which is very pathetic.
Pathetic, because, children are the main aim of marriage to fulfill the bidding of our Creator – “Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth.” (Genesis 1:28).
The result of divorces is devastating where children are concerned. The children will lose the combined love and complete attention of their parents, an unfortunate situation which can adversely affect their upbringing, in that they may fall into bad company and become a thorn in the flesh of society.
Since it was God Himself who constituted marriage, it must be considered so sacred that it should not be toyed with. The marriage vows talk of marriage as an everlasting union… “Till death doth us part.”
This makes it necessary for lovers to be careful when choosing partners. It must be based on the presence of absolute love to be able to stand all storms.
Childless couples must not be discouraged, but to continue praying to God for His favour at His own given time.