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Letter to Senior Opupulepu (45) Practice, They Say, Makes Perfect!

botchway May 3, 2019


Dear Senior Opupulepu, I hope by the Grace of the Almighty Yahweh and by the Grace of His Only Beloved Son, Who recently arose, arise, arisen and asked us to be quiet and never to be silly because He has defeated Wofa Owuo and also by the Grace of Yahweh’s Spiritus Sanctus, Who hovered over the waters before creation was created and put in our dictionaries, you and your family are all do fine. As for me, I and my family, we are all do fine, fine.

Senior, ever since Onaapo-wura constituted, decreed and implemented the policy of Boot-for-Boot, the Umbrella people have embraced the idea and are seriously putting into practice what they intend to do, come lot-casting-day of 4 times 5 by 5 times 4.

You remember how at a peace strategic talks within the Umbrella Concert Party people, to look up for what peaceful means they can use to win the lot-casting, the most peaceful one on top of the agenda was to use catapults and catapult people. In that process, one of their own was transformed into a ghost. Yes, Senior, this is the most peaceful strategy these Umbrella people can think of to win the lot casting, come 10 times 2 by 2 times 10.

Because of the love of peace and of great humility, those who used the catapults to transform their fellow Umbrella person into a ghost decided to fly far away like eagles’ cousins as they are into their nests way up in the tallest secluded trees in the jungle to keep away from the public, because they are very shy people who do want publicity over this simple act of dispatching people to go ahead of the living to join their ancestors.

Senior, you know the Umbrella people believe that in sharing is caring, so some of them hunted down their heroes who were in hiding and succeeded in knife-knifing one of these eagles’ cousins by name Saddam Hussein, in an attempt to also make him join their member sent to eternity during their peace strategy conference. They claim they received WhatsApp messages from their colleague beyond the now saying he was so very lonely and needed company to enjoy eternity with. But Saddam Hussein who has signed can never go with the here and now, declined the invitation and one-way first class ticket offered him, and as a result, he is limping on half leg and unable to fly again because of wing malfunction.

Senior, as at now, there is konkonsa all over the place that the Umbrella Concert Party is seriously practicing educating itself more in the boot-for-boot policy, so that come next lot-casting day of 20 times 1 by 1 times 20, they will boot the Great Leopard out of the village palace.

Senior Opupulepu, please tell the Elephant Concert Party people something, yoooo! They are sitting there promising people one neighbourhood one dam, and surely, it came to past, when the recent rains started raining, some villagers were very lucky to have dams relocated in their rooms, and people have started rearing Keta school boys and Chorkor rascals under their beds.

What the villagers of Ogyakrom want the Elephant Concert Party to promise and do is that, it is here to stay from now to eternity. The Great Leopard and his people must show to all villagers that they are wild, as in aggressive, welcoming, as in accommodation, and offensive as equal as in defensive. The promises they are promising, they are doing those promises pepeepe alright, but like Ogyakrom village girls, who, no matter what you provide for them, they still want you to produce some animal aggressiveness before they believe you are truly in love with them, the masses of Ogyakrom want to see some manliness man-man macho in the words and movements of the Elephants before they take them serious.

A typical Ograkromian girl will complain about her sweetie-sweetie muah-muah that, “Hmmm as for this Faded Jeans my guy, he does love me ooooo! He does not shout at me when I do bad; anything I ask of him, he will do without complain! Even when we are doing the thing, he will not tell when and how I should turn my here or my there. I must always tell him what and how I want it. It is fair?”

So, Senior, please tell the Elephants something. Look at how the Umbrella people have started dress rehearsals for the forthcoming lot casting, come 100 divided by 5 by 40 divided 2. In fact, recently they decided to train in one of their member’s stall in the market square, and come and see wild things in action.

They booted each other boot for boot and turned the whole place upside down like the day the walls of Jericho came tumbling down. In this case, they were not singing songs of praise to Yahweh the Most High, but were chanting curses of Wofa Sasa the Bosam. The Umbrella people have vowed not to have anything to do with Yahweh anymore, and such people of this class behave with no human thoughts in their minds, but doing anything that will please Sasa the Bosam.

Senior, the way women and children were beaten like fufu in a fufu mortar during that dress rehearsal, it fits your eyes and not your tell so. And it took place in no other place than the hamlet of the Golden Stool, which is the biggest family house of the Elephants.

As if to show the Elephants what they are incapable of doing right, these Umbrella people all but pronounced their readiness in words and in deeds to all and sundry and all, what is in store for the Elephant Concert Party.

In fact, they treated their own as they would their enemy, and one of them thought that with their GPS location located where the Golden Stool came down from Yahweh’s kingdom, it meant all stools are weapons of limited destruction, so he picked up a long stool and clubbed down the heads of any brother or sister in sight with the precision of how New Jeans will gulp down bottles of Club Beer.

Senior, it is a very, very stomach burning sight to see human beings were behaving like animals. But if the Umbrellas are behaving like a wild animal caught in a trap – that it would bite everything and anything including its tail – what would happen if they become living beings? Umbrella be like this, then cockerel!

Senior, they say practice makes perfect, and these Umbrella Concert Party people are seriously practicing to be perfect that day. So tell, the Great Leopard, Nana Odenihuni Owuobiaye owu our Omanhene, that he should wake his people up and make them go jogging small and show some macho, not the vigilante macho, and exhibit their preparedness and be bold to defend forever our freedom, our right and our left.

Senior, open your eyes at him and talk wisdom and matter into his head. In your case, you are his colleague in age, so you can say anything to him and be left free   but, as for me, I cannot afford to exercise my freedom of speech in the presence of Nana Odenihuni, because I cannot guarantee the safety of my freedom after that speech.

I am Dan for now, sorry I am Done.

It is Me again.


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