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Letter to Snr. Opupulepu (38) Is Life In Ogyakrom As Hard As Like Kola Nut In A Toothless Mouth For Real, Real?

botchway March 8, 2019

Dear Senior Opupulepu, I hope you are do fine. As for me and my house, we are all do fine. But, as a matter of fact, I believe somewhere no cool. Senior, you see some boys-boys who take up the responsibility to tell motorists pass here, don’t pass here, especially when the red-gold-green lights decide to dum-so? And you see some akupas who stand in the middle of road creating more pot holes but insisting they are filling them?
Senior, you know these two of the above do it and request something small for their services. And here some kind-hearted motorists touched by the Spirit toss them about half a cowry, which they use for their daily chop-chop.
Senior, now that I have built the foundation of what I heard and saw, let me quickly construct the structure before you know what is misunderstanding my mind. The other day, when the Great Leopard went to the United Villages Clubhouse and open his mouth like a parade commander giving parade instructions and said life in Ogyakrom is like kola nut in a toothless mouth, I thought because he had nothing to say, but had to say something, he just said this.
In fact, I am beginning to believe that he spoke the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
And Senior, the ancient say that whenever matter meets Papa Obroni, he will speak Twi, and so it is that when the rich, high and mighty are becoming poor, they adapt to eating dried gari and sugar, even it means eating it with a swag.
Senior..hmmmmm…it has been revealed publicly and practically in the they say, they say; aake-aake; yesi-yesi daily news that, indeed, the poverty in Ogyakrom is spreading like a disease from the top and soon will descend down below to inflict we, the moborowa, as well, and when it does, we who are down will still fear fall.
Senior, please believe me and trust me, that there is a rumour which I witnessed the act in action that the great Togbe Xornametor aka Togbe Peace-Perfect-Peace aka Togbe Amekedziavu (Who Born Dog) aka Togbe My-Daughter’s Breasts-Are-Beautiful aka Captain Chaos aka the Red Herrings aka Efo Yevuyigbor is now broke oooooh; he is damn broke. Senior, believe me, the man is broke.
The other day he was on a certain busy street directing traffic. Don’t say I am making stories. He was doing pass-here, don’t pass-here one fine fateful evening and hoping that some motorists will dash him something small to buy some akpele and aborbitadito to have for supper. It is that bad oooooh, it is that bad. You know aborbi? It is the traditional stool name for Keta School Boys or Chorkor Rascals, what Papa Obroni will call anchovies and the rich do not eat Keta School boys, why, for what? They eat tuna, barracuda and the likes.
Come and see Togbe in action; first he commanded all the akupas doing the pass-here, don’t pass-here to leave the area with immediate effect, but once a snake, always a snake, even if a toothless one, people will try hard to avoid its path, so with one shout, Togbe made the akupas disappeared and closed for the day.
Did he succeed in getting something? Senior, this I doubt. You see, he looked too serious, squeezing his face with some clear dose of vain pride and anger. And with this unprovoked anger written in his face, motorists remembered his hey days when he could climb down his official camel and single handily overturn cattle trucks and what have you. The other day, he shouted at a taxi cab and the car turned over five times and landed on its head top.
Togbe knew he was broke, but still has pride inside his inside. O, Senior, pride oooooh, pride, vain pride led him to look too angry and too serious that vehicles started fleeing the scene without the motorists doing anything. Of all the three hours Togbe spent making the passing-here, don’t passing-here, nothing exchanged hands and he went home empty handed and more frustrated than ever in his life. Senior, please, tell him something for me…if the rich, the high and mighty want to invade our moborowa regions, they must do what we do. Common smile, he could not smile, why? Was it by force to come down to do our work? And looking so rigid with a hard face would never inspire or invite the generosity of humankind to dip hands into pockets and dole out something small.
That night he only succeeded in making the poor akupas poorer, and this is the man who said he came to redeem the poor. So-so yabi-yabi and no show!
But Togbe is seriously broke, because soon after Odenehuni, the Great Leopard, spoke to all villagers through our Municipal Policemen and Women, we all saw Togbe kneeling in front of the Great Leopard. At first we thought as a Catholic boy he was making confession, I mean that Bless me Father, for I have sinned thing some. And, you see, Togbe has been to Roman keep long papaa, long before his first grandchild’s parents were born and thought anyone at all can absolve sins.
Not knowing it was not confession ooooh… Togbe was begging, in fact, he was begging for something small, but Odenehuni could not help. He went on to beg for salary advance, and that too was turned down, for, indeed, life in Ogyakrom is like a kola nut in a toothless mouth. In fact, the Omanhene self, is not seeing top, as his response to Togbe revealed. “Oh, my Brother, house no good ooooh. You see, I forgot to add Free Vars to the Free SHS, and so I had to pay university fees for the three of my children and ten others of family and hamlet folks. I am dry, completely dry. I would have asked my wife, Obaahema Becca, but these days the market is also not good. She carries two baskets of kobi to the market every day and returns same. Sorry I cannot help.” Life in Ogyakrom is like a kola nut in a toothless mouth, real, real.
Now Togbe Amekedziavu owes the cat meat soup seller, the snuff seller, the palm wine tapper, the kola nut seller, the koose seller and a few others. He must redeem his image and maintain it, so he had to do this pass-here, don’t pass-here to get something small. But he went home empty-handed because of pride, vain pride; Togbe failed to land a single cowry in his pocket in this moborowa zone.
I hope he will not start filling pot-holes in our potholes infested roads, and as for begging in the streets, he should not try. That one is a profession for determined people, and if he ever does go there, they will package him and throw him far, far away and over the mountains, over the hills, for them they do not go it like that.
Advise him to swallow his pride and eat humble agbelikaklo small and go and see his nephew in law, Onaapowura, who is the most dusted person today in the Umbrella Concert Party and get something small. Tell him that if you are hungry and you pretend that you are not hungry, you will starve yourself to death.
Senior, as for me, what I just told you is they-say, they-say; aake-aake; yesi-yesi, so mind how you say it and don’t mention me in any conversation you will converse on this matter, okay! The man has still got some fire in him.
Look Senior, I think I am Dan, sorry I am Dawn, I am confused, okay, I am Done.
It is Me.

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