Dear Snr. Opupulepu, I hope you are do fine, but as for me because tradition demands that even in your worse moments when you are greeted you must respond in the positive, I will say that I am also do fine.
Senior, please can you tell Onsurowuo Nana Odenihuni Owuobiayeowuo, the Great Leopard, something for me? But, please do not tell him I told you to tell him. You see, between you and me, you are closer in age to Adam and Eve, who can easily recognise you as their descendant, than they would me.
Also Senior, I believe Nana will use the age factor to deal with you leniently than he would me. So just sacrifice your life and tell him these few things, but say you said it; after all, life is too short and you need to do something before you die.
Senior Opupulepu, ever since Nana squatted on the throne, he has been trying to undo the doings that Nana Onaapo-wura Odeneho Ontieh-Obia I had desecrated the throne, the shrine, and the village with.
Of course, this task is not easy, because to right the wrongs of those who are born to be wrong-mongers, is not an easy task. While he was righting the wrongs, it was obvious that certain important things must remain untouched. So it came to pass that the public outcry was that “life is hard and rough like the butcher’s table.”
I appointed myself the unofficial Okyeame for Nana the Great Leopard and told all ladies, gentlemen, and others that the situation we, in Ogyakrom, find ourselves, is like your mother coming home to meet you all very hungry. However, the house, rooms, and compound are so filthy that it would be impossible to cook a wholesome meal in that environment.
So your mother takes a sound decision and starts to clean up the house first before cooking. While all this is going on, hunger and pangs of hunger will ensure that you and your siblings become very, very hungry. The realities of life during that brief period will confirm how hard it is to walk with gravel in your shoes.
Have I not done well? And I never ask Nana for any cowries for the amansan relation job.
Now, what I am not understand and I am not agree with Nana the Great Leopard is that, recently, he went to meet with his colleague nananom at the assemblification of all villages at the United (not Man U) Natives Center, and told all of ewiasi that life in Ogyakrom is as hard as a kola nut in a toothless mouth.
Senior, Nana never even acknowledged my effort in explaining to people to understand why things are as they are; it is fair?
In fact, tell Nana something oooooh, hmmmmm! Tell him something for me. Now I cannot go out because people look at me and laugh, saying that the man I am talking for has admitted that the situation has become basaaa.
In fact, tell him well, well in his face, by fire, by force, without fear or favour, because with your age he will not do you foko. You may even earn your T and T, and remember to pass me my commission.
So, tell him, and tell him well, well, and remember do not say I told you to say anything, because I am still too young to die.
Senior, while we are talking about kola nuts in toothless mouths, have you heard of Obiba Kweku Ananse Double-Bowls? That guyman who wants to swagger his name, so he chose to write it as Kweku A-Double-Bowls.
Senior Opupulepu, I know you know who I am talking about. A-Double-Bowls stowed away to Omanhema Lizzy’s land of the Long Noses when he was just two years eleven months three weeks and six days, with some hours and minutes to play around with. He is recorded in the Guinness Stout Book of Records as the youngest Homo Sapien to stow away. In fact if it were during the slave trade era, the slave buyers will not have any problems with him.
You see, because he did not use the correct channels to materialise in Engleshie, he was not inoculated against all the important diseases like yellow fever, small pox, cholera, running stomach, smelling armpit, rotten mouth, etc., etc.
Obiba Kweku was schooled there alright, and his brain opened, very enlightened about the world. He got a fine job counting and managing cowries and developed some habits of buying palm wine when it was fresh and storing it in his underground bunker till it became matured.
Rumours have it that Obiba Kweku never bought cheap palm wine, and he had enough of it in store that he could fill the Akosombo Dam to the brim and millions of litres will still remain.
Senior, Obiba Kweku A-Double-Bowls run into some trouble. He started cloning cowries out of what he received for counting and packaging. And, because he did not register the new cowries at the Births and Deaths Registry, Omanhema Lizzy’s people decided he was a pick pocket, and so he was sent to counter-back, and then to Abrokye Nsawam.
Senior, after humiliating this innocent boy, they have decided to post him back to sender. Can you imagine!
Here in Ogyakrom, we do not know about cloning of cowries, so it is very obvious he learnt it from there. So, why do they want him to come here to teach our youth how to clone money?
In fact, let me ask Omanhema Lizzy something. As of her, I do not fear her, huuutey. She cannot do me foko! Pass this message unto her, and tell her in her face that I say I said it.
If Obiba Daniel (not Me) Well-Bed, a renowned gutter-to-gutter player, is prevented from playing for the Ogyakrom Dark-Stars, but forced to play for her village black stars; if the likes of Ox-World Boateng (a fashion tailor); Son of Jesse Agyie, a professional brick laying designer; Clear Hope Ashitey, a concert practitioner; Nana-K Twumasi Ankrah, a bow and arrow professional, among thousands and thousands of others are all born of full Ogyakromianmothers and fathers, but are excelling in the fields of their endeavour in Engleshie and treated like the Long Noses, and made to only ply their trade only in Engleshie, then why is it that when Obiba Kweku misses step small, they know where he came from and are packing him bag and baggage to return home?
They should keep him there and make sure they cure his disease, or it will not well between us and them. And, you see, these are the things Nana Odenihuni should have said at United Natives, and not about how hard it is in Ogyakrom, as if we do not know, already.
For me, if Nana Owuobiayeowuo accepts Kweku Ananse Double-Bowls in Ogyakrom, I will not talk to him again (anyway, as if I can afford living without talking to him).
Senior, I believe I am Dan, sorry I am Done.
It is Me!