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Letter to Snr. Opupulepu (22) The Festival of Three Lessons and the Call to Shut Up

botchway September 8, 2018


Dear Snr. Opupulepu,  I hope by the Grace of the Living Yahweh you are doing fine. As for me and my house, we are all do fine.

Senior, they did not say Blowman-never-dies for nothing. You do remember the Okomfo Nyame Nipa called Dr. Dr. Mends Old-Table Omo-Enim Ese-Atemdidie, don’t you? In fact he is a champion man. Heh!!! Champions die hard.

At the time that the Senior Prefect (SP), Mart A-Meadow, was making preparations to have him sent for a trial of definitely-guilty-as-charged for the miracles he performed in his synagogue, where cowries could disappear in thin air into a vacuum, the support base of this preacher man seems to be very unshakable and has been increasing in size, height, weight, volume, gender, tribes and races.

I swear (not on Yahweh) that Yesu Christus Emmanuel, the Only Begotten Son of the Living Yahweh, would be a little jealous of Old-Table.

Senior, you see, when Yesu was to face Puncture Pilot, all his supporters, singlets, socks and handkerchiefs performed the disappearing act. They went AWOL (Absent Without Leave). Yes! They all went AWOL, even including Sammy Petrol the Rock. So Yesu stood alone in the face of his adversaries to answer questions like why was He born on a Tuesday and things like that.

In the case of Old-Table, there was no change in loyalty, as there was 24/7 vigil in support of him. Or are we in Hosanna Sunday and not Good Friday yet?

And, in the sight of his enemies, he laid a table before them and enjoyed his meal amidst a Festival of Three Lessons, which he organised.

1st Lesson (Lesson One): The Word of Yahweh: You are Good, What You Do Is Good, Teach me Your Decrees (From Agya Sam’s Hymn Book Hymn 119 verse 68)

Exhortation: There lived a certain charcoal-skinned woman who is Cotton, but came all the way from her village across the rivers without river banks to Ogyakrom, with nothing but two cowries in her purse to plant rice.

Her beauty confused and convinced the elders of Ogyakrom beyond comprehension and composition, that they gave billions of the village’s cowries to this Cotton to grow rice. She took the money and fled back to her village, thanking and praising Yahweh all the days of her life. PRAISE GOD! God is Good! And His Goodness is Everlasting.

2nd Lesson (Lesson Two): The Word of Yahweh: For everything created by Yahweh is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving. (From the 1st Postcard to Tim Old-Tea dated 4:4)

Exhortation: And a Son of Man called Old-Table was very hungry because hunger has pitched tent in the land; feeling weak and tired he fell asleep, and behold, he fell into a trance. Just like it happened to Sammy Petrol the Rock, in the Actings of the Apaasos, a big white sheet was spread in front of him with cowries of every village on it. Then, as was said to Sammy Petrol the Rock, the Voice of Yahweh also said to Old-Table, “Get up! Collect these cowries and eat!” Old-Table replied, “How can I eat unclean foreign cowries? Holding them on me alone will make people suspect that I am dealer in the market of Darkness.”

But Yahweh said three times in anger, “What I, Yahweh Thy Lord Thy God has made clean, you have no right to say it is profane!”

So the Son of Man, Okomfo Nyame Nipa Dr. Dr. Mends Old-Table Omo-Enim Ese-Atemdidie, got up, but unlike Sammy Petrol the Rock, he quickly collected all the cowries vam, vam, vam, just like that, and started eating some nyaafu, nyaafu, nyaafu, just like that, praising Yahweh with thanksgiving in his heart. PRAISE God! God is Good! And His Goodness is Everlasting.

3rd Lesson (Lesson Three): “Taste and see that Yahweh is good; blessed is the man who hides in Him” (From Agya Sam’s Hymn Book Hymn 34 verse 8)

Exhortation: When all his adversaries beheld his wealth, they armed themselves to attack and loot from Old-Table because he was now rich. But when he beheld the forces up against him, he did the right thing and fled unto the Face of Yahweh, his God, and took refuge in the Shadow of El Shaddai. There was a yawning gap between him and his enemies, like the gap between Lazarus and the rich man; so he comfortably took rest, and laying his head on his booty, he kept praising Yahweh, God is Good! God is Good! God is Good! Until he entered into his sleep and snored with such impudence. PRAISE God! God is Good! And His Goodness is Everlasting.

Senior, you better be born twice over again. As for me, I am going to be born thrice over again. You have to taste the Goodness of Yahweh, and that can only be possible if you submit your birth certificate for renewal.

So, now if you go and thief someone’s cassava in his farm, just proclaim the goodness of Yahweh and you are free from man and from Yahweh. Even the Ten Commandments have been updated, and the Eighth Commandment is no longer “Thou Shall Not Thief,” but “Thou Shall Not Be Caught Thiefing.” So, as it is, the act of thiefing is punishable only when you are caught in the act of thiefing. It means even if you have been proven a stealer after thiefing, with the stolen items in your armpit, you are free, why, because God is Good, All the Time, God is Good.

Now all the “Shall Nots” in the Ten Commandment have been upgraded to “Thou Shall Not Be Caught, Shalling.” For example, Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery” is now “Thou Shall Not Be Caught Committing Adultery.” Amen, somebody!

So Senior, you are now free to go even beyond Suhum-Nsawam with any fair daughter of Eve, so long as you are not found out in the act. So says this modern day and age, for men in Yahweh’s Palm Plantation where pure Palm Wine is produced. We are assured that soon and very soon, the notification to that effect shall be notified to us from Heaven; we are to be patient, for patience is a virtue.

But, please don’t go and take some small lady that would tear your heart and leave me to endure the agony of attending your requiem. Go for your age woman, and you shall live long.

As we were jubilating over the news of the redrafting and upgrading of the Ten Commandments, another Okomfo Nyame Nipa called Dr. Dr. St. Nicholas the Bill, sang to us, we true the followers of Yesu, Son of the Most High Yahweh, that “when a fellow goatherd is in times of trouble, Mother Mary will come to him, singing words of Wisdom…Let It Be!… St Nicholas the Bill warned us to “let it be and do not talk about it!”  Meaning, we should remember the First Commandment in Sunday School… “Sunday School, No Talking!” We the true believers and followers must just, “SHUT UP! And not to lawyer over the matter”

And he added that only awam followers of Yesu can lawyer the goatherd. WHAT? But how can we sing Yahweh’s song of justice when we are gagged?

Senior, this is what is going on in Ogyakrom. I am Dan, Sorry I am Done.

It is Me.



In the Wednesday 5th September issue on Page 14 under the column Commonsense, there was a factual error on the Fifth Column Paragraph 2 which should have read: ‘…and also in 1966, there was the first successful coup, led by Major Afrifa (Asante), Colonel Kotoka (Ewe), this union was temporary…’

Kofi Abrefa Busia had no hand in any coup.

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