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Letter to Snr. Opupulepu Herrrr… Abaawa Amanpour

botchway April 25, 2018

Dear Snr. Opupulepu, how do you do? As for me I am do fine. Senior, I hope this letter will meet you in great spirits with the graces and blessings of the Almighty Yahweh flooding your presence and household.
Senior, when I say I have issues with some journalists, some people think because I am full of ayisem and vain arrogance, that is why.
It is my desire that, at least, two journalists, one a local gin and the other foreign schnapps, be de-penned with immediate effect.
That labourer who arranges and packs stories and articles before publication the other day descended upon me and claimed he is not a labourer but a porter. I said how, and he said a porter is more dignified than a labourer. When I said he should expatiate what he was saying, he digressed by saying that, as for him, he hikes, he does not walk; he perspires, he does not sweat, and he dozes off, he does not fall asleep.
Yoooo, I said. But, when I asked him to translate porter into Twi to see whether he indeed knew what it meant. He opened his mouth and then suddenly choked on his words. Snr. Opupulepu, I had to assist him pronounce the word kaya, and went on to qualify him as a kayanu (male porter). He has since failed to pick my calls, Snr…Yam yam at fault?
Woaaa look, and he calls himself a journalist. He should be de-penned.
The foreign schnapps one is a certain Abaawa Christine Ama Mpoah. That is not exactly her name, but that is how I can pronounce it. Recently, this Abaawa Christine dragged a reluctant Ghanaian beauty to the cameras and forced her to say in public things she would not have said in the privacy of her bedroom.
She asked the lady whether she goes to Suhum-Nsawam, and if so, with whom. Senior, I hope you know this thing called Suhum-Nsawam, because I do not want to use that sacred word lest if any of your grandchildren come by this letter they will be saying all about the house that Akora knows the thing, so he does the thing!
The Ghanaian, I believe called Moesha, said she even goes beyond Konongo-Ejisu. “Ebeeiiii akwada kitikiti like you can travel that far, and with whom?” Abaawa Christine asked.
Moesha, under the influence of international exposure, responded and said, “I go with an overhauled, painti-ma-men-to, old fox.” What! And why does she desire to kill someone’s great grandfather?
This was where Moesha, still semi-conscious under the exposure, said it is the tradition and culture among all women in Ghana to go Suhum-Nsawam or beyond with other women’s married men for chop money.
Senior, she said when Nana Addo came to squat on the throne, he realised that all the country’s monies were paid to the ex-ministers who received salaries double-triple. So the ground is dry, and that was the only means women can survive and have something to do their hairs for Sunday worship.
This proclamation truly aroused the displeasure of many Ghanaian women, who expressed their thoughts in no mean polite manner. However, in no words did they call for the head of Moesha, so this came as a surprise that Abaawa Christine should react angrily at the people of this nation.
I am not simply understand her, because, when Moesha said due to our bad economy every single woman (preferably referring only to the unmarried) goes Suhum-Nsawam with married men before they can maintain their needs, Abaawa Christine should have first asked that how could this be, because the men would also have been badly hit by the worse economy, so where would they get the money from to steadily maintain such relationships?
However, to protect her story she decided to defend Moesha, but she was completely off course. Ghanaians would not have even be bothered if our kinswoman had said she personally hunts married men to maintain her high class of living.
After all, another lady in a video recorded interview said she preferred older men because they drive very gently on the way to Suhum-Nsawam, observing all traffic regulations: no over-speeding, no wrong overtaking, in fact no overtaking at all, just slow and gentle. She said for men her age, they drove recklessly as if there was no tomorrow, breaking all traffic regulations with such impudence, and would go as far as Techiman-Akumadan before returning to Suhum-Nsawam, by which time she would have been very tired and broken down. Not many people have even noticed this video clip, let alone, know that lady’s name.
So, if Moesha had used the first person singular, not many people would have remembered she was on CNN. But rudely enrolling all Ghanaian women into her class is what the problem was all about, and how is this difficult for Abaawa Christine not to notice, since she is a seasoned journalist? If someone used the first person plural and Abaawa Christine who interviewed her claims she only heard “I”, then there is a problem, she is not fit to continue holding a pen.
Assuming a lesbian from her country says all women in that country are lesbians, what will be her reaction? Some journalists! I am Dan, Senior, sorry I am Done.
Bye for now,
It is Me.

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